Ad Finem('til the end)
by Michelle Thatcher

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All characters used in this story are the exclusive property of
CLAMP. My rights to any characters in it are laughable.  This story
contains SPOILERS and Shonen ai and sap.  This is a romance, which
means that the end in particular is going to have lots of goopy
sweet moments.  You have been warned.

This story is archived at http://www.akane.org/michelle

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==========
 Epilogue
==========


     She followed Yue through the cold and cloudless sky trying
hard to stay calm.  He'd come to her at dusk after two days of
relative silence, guilty glances, and stolen intimacies.  He'd
said they needed to be alone; that they needed to talk.  He'd
asked for her time and her trust, and had brought her here; had
said she'd like it; that it was a good place for solitude and
reflection.  They'd traveled by air to the far side of a nearby
peak, and up the slope to a hidden mountain lake.  She found
herself wondering what it would look like in the spring.

     "You're right," said Sakura breathlessly.  "This place is
absolutely beautiful."  As she folded her wings into non-
existence, she looked again at the small lake, now frozen and
snow covered, the ring of trees that defined it, and the white
meadow sparkling in the starlight.

     Yue cleared the snow from one fallen tree with a soft
magical breeze, removed his drape, and with slow and deliberate
grace, folded it neatly over the trunk.  He took his master's
hand gallantly, and they sat.  "It's not far from home.  It's
nearly impossible to reach on foot."

     She leaned close, resting against him.  "I know how
important it is to have a place to be alone," she said.  "I'm ...
I'm really honored that you'd share this place with me."

     He glanced down at his feet in the snow, then smiled
slightly.  "There are some things we should talk about.  I
thought you'd like it here."

     She was becoming used to the feeling of his wings around
her.  She wondered how much of it was instinctive to him.  At the
moment, more than the physical warmth, she was grateful for the 
affection the act represented.  He was becoming more comfortable
with the idea of being with her in intimate ways.  They had not
done more than kiss in the days since his return, but every day
his tension decreased, and she somehow sensed that his mind was
catching up to his emotions.  

     She was grateful for both the reserve he showed, and for the
intense desire that he only hinted at.  One helped her to feel
unthreatened in this new love, the other to feel confident that
it was real; that he hadn't merely sensed the fantasy lover that
she hadn't meant to make him into in her mind.  He *did* love
her.  He did want to be hers.  She was glad of it.  She let go of
his hand to put her arms around him, and sighed when he responded
in kind.  She snuggled close to him with a happy murmur.  He bent
to kiss the top of her head; stroked her hair with his free hand;
brushed her cheek.

     They sat in silence several minutes each thinking their own
thoughts and savoring the other's nearness and the beauty of the
night.  The warmth and peace were hypnotic, and Sakura found
herself fighting off sleep, but she clung to him, and smelled
him, and thought of all the things that had not yet happened
between them, and all the things that soon they would each say.

     There was no reason to rush either.

     To be held by him, in this, his most sacred place was enough
for now.  This time together had been his idea, and she would let
him use it for whatever his dream said should happen next.  If he
was content merely to hold her -- a more tender and romantic
gesture than she'd have suspected him capable of -- she was more
than happy to give him the chance.

     There was something so familiar about this ...

     Hadn't he held her like this ...

     Ah.

     With quiet happiness, she remembered her dreams.  She didn't
know how often, or for how long, but there had been dreams about
this.  Dreams where his wings had been around her.  Dreams that
had prepared her, perhaps, for the particular joy of being loved
by someone like Yue.  The future was less than totally open to
her, but even as a child, there had always been dreams.  She
sometimes wondered how they were supposed to be helpful when she
couldn't remember them the majority of the time, but that was
magic for you.

     After what she guessed from the movement of the stars was,
perhaps, half an hour, he pointed straight ahead out across the
field, south east over the lake, and through the trees.  Her
breath caught as the snowscape came slowly to life.  The trees
sparkled as moonglow revealed itself.  Soft white light through a
million tiny prisms of ice.  She was nearly overwhelmed by the
pristine beauty of it all, and she knew that it was only the
beginning.

     At last, the moon showed itself through the trees.  It was
full and white and perfect, and suddenly she knew that he had
planned this night on many levels.  He was at the height of his
power, and his courage would not fail him.  He had brought her
here with a clear purpose in mind, and he would not be swayed
from it.

     With all her heart, she rejoiced in the knowledge that
before the moon set, all would be resolved between them for all
time.  She pulled her gaze away from that wonderful moon, and
looked up to find him watching her.  She smiled, shy and happy,
and put one hand lightly on his chest.  The night was lovely, but
she would rather look at him.  He seemed to want to kiss her
again, but he merely turned to face her fully, and placed both
hands on her waist.

     "Sakura-sama, I'd ... I think it's time we talked."

     She nodded seriously, then waited, entranced by the emotion
in his eyes.

     "You must know that I ... that I adore you.  I wouldn't have
said anything except that ... I thought you might ... not mind. 
You've been a very good master to me, and I know that I should be
content.  I wasn't going to tell you that I had come to ... feel
strongly about you.  But then I didn't see you for so long ...
couldn't be near you or help you and ... I just *missed* you so
very much.  It seemed to me ... It seemed to me that when I came
back ... you ... I still wouldn't have said anything, but it
seemed to me that your feelings had changed too."

     Sakura shook her head.  "Yue ..."

     He seemed confused. "Was I wrong?  I ..."

     "No!  Yue, I ... " She held him tightly.  "Yue, my feelings
for you ... they ... they haven't changed since I was little.  I
... I *love* you.  I've *always* loved you.  I just ... I buried
it so deep.  I tried to forget.  You're my obsession.  My
inspiration.  It's been so long.  I thought I had it all under
control, but you ...  Yue, when you fell, when I didn't know what
had happened or if you were alright ..."

     He was brushing tears from her face.  Again.  And she didn't
even remember beginning to cry.

     "I nearly came undone, Yue.  I thought ... Oh, I was
frightened.  It all came rushing back to me.  All those feelings. 
All that frustrated desire.  I knew then that I've never stopped
loving you.  You fill my heart.  You always have."

     She leaned forward and rested her weight on him.  She could
feel his breath on her neck.  She held tight.  "I ... I don't
want you to feel like that obligates you, Yue.  I don't need to
be loved by you to be happy.  I'm content to be near you; content
to be your friend.  If ... if this isn't what's in your heart,
then I ... I don't want it."

     "I know that."

     She looked up at him again.  His eyes were clear and
intense.  His grip was firm.  He smiled.  "You think only of
others.  You give so completely of yourself.  I exist only to
serve you, and yet, you gave me my freedom all those years ago. 
You may not know this, but you didn't have to.  You could have
bound me to you back then, but you didn't.  I was happy because
my happiness was more important to you than your own.  Nothing
has changed, my beloved master.  You have the power to capture
this heart by the strength of your will, and yet you don't.  I
see your desire, but also your fear.  Stop worrying.  I am yours
because I choose to be.  I am yours because you are the most
beautiful woman I have ever known.  I am more flattered; more
honored; more humbled than you could ever dream to know that you
have found me worthy."

     Very slowly, he pulled away from her and stood.  She watched
as he straightened, his feet not leaving the ground.  Almost
visibly, he gathered something ethereal around him.  Not his
power.  Something more fundamental and universal.  Something that
gave him a deeper dignity.  An air of emotional gravity that made
her take in a deep breath and hold it for a long time.

     With grace, he knelt before her and placed his head in her
lap.  She took his hands and pulled, urging him to rise, but he
remained there, worshiping her, the sense of formality stong all
around him.  "And so again I pledge myself to you.  My body is
yours and my power, but from this day forth, you possess my heart
as well.  By those stars and that moon, I swear to love and adore
you forever."

     "Oh, Yue, get up," she whispered hoarsely, but he merely
tightened his grip on her hands, and pressed his head more firmly
into her lap.  A formal pledge.  An act of subjugation to his
master, but so much more.  She couldn't stop him from giving up
everything to make her happy.  She could only promise to do the
same for him.  She rose, then knelt to join him, her knees
touching his in the snow.  He turned to her, and she pressed her
forehead against his.  He'd said the words.  He'd promised to
love her forever.  He was helping her to redefine happiness. 
Nothing else mattered.   

     Almost nothing.

     "What about ... ?"

     He squeezed her hand.  "What is it, master?"

     Master.  Oh, well.  They could work on that.  "What about
... Yukito-san?"

     "What about him?"

     She held on a little tighter to fight off any doubts her
words might bring him.  He *must* believe that she loved him no
matter what.  "Will this ... hurt him?  I know he's not ready for
..."

     "He's not ready now.  He'll be ready someday.  Be patient."

     "But you and I ..."

     He kissed her, briefly, but with an inherent promise for
many more to come.  He was ready *now*.  No baggage, no regrets
or entanglements.  He looked at her again, then placed her hand
over his chest.  "I can't help it." he said.  "This heart is
yours.  Everything else is a minor detail.  That he will love you
as I do is inevitable.  You will know when the time is right."

     "But ..."

     Yue looked inside himself.  "He's surprised.  He didn't
know.  But he doesn't mind."

     "Doesn't mind?"

     He smiled mysteriously leaning in close.  "He thinks it's
only Yue that loves you." he whispered.  "We'll let him believe
that for now, shall we?"

     It wasn't the fact that he was conspiring against Yukito
that surprised her.  It was the fact that he was taking such joy
in it.  "Won't he hear you?"

     "He won't hear anything from me that he isn't ready to
believe.  He'll find this memory someday.  When we've grown
closer together again."

     "I suppose ... if you're sure."

     He nodded gravely.

     That made it her turn.  She wasn't really good with formal. 
Especially when she was excited or happy.  He'd just have to
settle for earnest.  "Then ... then I promise.  I promise too.  I
love you.  I'll love you forever.  I belong to you as surely as
ever you belonged to me.  You have always been such a wonderful
and loyal friend.  It makes me so happy to know that finally we
both feel the same way.  So I will give you my love for as long
as I live."  The words seemed so flawed and inadequate, but they
were enough.  She felt the power of the words, she added her
magical will to them and felt him do the same.  Guided by some
shared instinct, they raised their joined hands between them,
closed their eyes, and felt the bond take effect.

     "So be it," whispered Yue.

     "So be it," she repeated breathlessly.

     They looked at each other smiling foolishly for a long time,
then shared a gentle kiss.  Sakura's heart sang within her for
the beauty of this perfect moment.  Her head rested on his
shoulder, and she closed her eyes again.

     A strange energy stirred.  It came from him, but he seemed
unaware of it.  A quiet voice that she somehow knew he couldn't
hear whispered 'About damned time.'

     She smiled into her beloved's neck.  'Onii-chan, are you
really okay with all of this?'

     'Not really.  I'm jealous as hell.'

     'It wasn't exactly my idea, you know.  If it hadn't been for
you...'

     He somehow sighed.  'He needed this.  You both did.  Both of
you all wrapped up in your own problems.  Bereavement. 
Loneliness.  Duty.  Couple of martyrs. You think it made me happy
seeing you both so stoic and brave?  The happier the two of you
are, the easier my job will be.  The closer you stay to each
other, the less I'll have to worry about either of you.'

     She snuggled closer to Yue, and melted a little more when he
gently stroked her back.  His wings flexed, extended to their
full span, then once again, folded tightly around her.  They
reminded her again of ...

     'My dreams!  Onii-chan!  Thank you for the dreams!  Without
them, I might never have figured it out.'

     'What dreams?'

     They still weren't completely clear in her mind, but she
sent him the impression of contentment.  'The warm dreams.  The
ones with the feathers.'

     'I didn't send you any dreams like that.'

     'Of course you did.  I would wake up warm and happy.  Who
else would know what it would be like?  I-'

     'They didn't come from me.  Those dreams where you kept
getting chased around the basement by that angry water buffalo
spirit?  Those were from me.  Nothing about feathers, though.'

     'Onii-chan!'  But she was happy.  Unbelievably happy.  'So
now we can fix him?'

     'Won't be easy.'

     'But you know what to do?'

     'Nope.  But I'm sure you'll figure it out.'

     'Onii-chan!'

     'You worry too much.  It's your wedding night.  Enjoy
yourself.  Be happy.  There's time for-'

     'Solving of great mysteries later.  I know, I know.'

     He seemed amused.  'Right now just concentrate on making him
happy.  Love him.  Teach him to laugh again.  Yue has a beautiful
laugh.'

     'I remember.'

     'Now go do unspeakable things or something.  I've got stuff
to do.'

     She blushed.  'Thank you, onii-chan.'

     'Whatever.'

     And he was gone.

     And in a snow-layered mountain clearing, the greatest
magician of all time held her beloved close, and turned her face
to the moon, and laughed for joy.


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End of Ad Finem

Please send any comments you have about this story to:
Michelle Thatcher  misha@cybergal.com

Hope you enjoyed this story.  It was a lot of fun to write.  

Yes, I know I left some loose ends.  Most of those will be tied
up in the sequel which should be out any minute now.  It's well
underway and has a decent amount of momentum.  Right now it's 
called 'The Wasteland,' but that may change.  

Big thankses to all my pre-readers, especially Krista Perry and
Rachael Whitman for encouragement and useful advise.  Thanks also
to everyone who's read this far.  Let me know what you think, 
folks!

'til next time,

	-Michelle
http://www.akane.org/michelle