Still with me?

Wonderful.

Card Captor Sakura and all related characters are property of CLAMP.  

Here's chapter one.  Mushiness ahead.  Just thought I'd warn you.


***


The Wasteland
a Card Captor Sakura futurefic
by Michelle Thatcher


***

=============
 Chapter One
=============


     Dawn came, and the great seal-beast Keroberus opened his
eyes.  The sleepiness had come upon him suddenly, and the
position he'd ended up in seemed to involve resting on a few more
rocks than he might otherwise have chosen.  It wasn't until he
began to stretch, however, that he noticed the soft and
unfamiliar weight against his right side.  That was strange.

     Still a little groggy, he craned his head to look.  There,
sleeping against him, was something that very closely resembled a
five year old human girl.  Of course, that was impossible for
several reasons.  For one thing, small human girls were not a
natural part of the eco-system here, and for another, he was a
fearsome and mighty magical animal, and his very appearance could
easily inspire awe and respect in the hearts of all who saw him. 
Surely any small humans who came upon him while he was resting
his mighty eyes would either run in terror at his obvious
strength and fighting skill, or stand in reverence and delight at
his wonderful and stylish beauty.  Certainly, though, no child
would be so foolhardy as to lean against his muscular self and
fall asleep.  The very idea was preposterous.

     He blinked several times, but the darned girl insisted on
being a girl.

     Fine, then.  If that was the way she wanted to be, he'd just
go back to sleep until she decided to behave in a more respectful
and rational manner.

     Just as he closed his eyes, though, she stirred.  She
stretched and yawned, and acted for all the world like a child. 
He looked deeper.  Not an ordinary child.  A magical gift was
apparent in her aura.  Moon power.  Figured.

     Then her eyes opened and she looked at him.  He did his best
to appear fearsome and intimidating.  Best to teach the little
moonie some respect right away.

     She smiled.  "Good morning!" she said in a calm and cheerful
way.  That was all.  She was waiting patiently for him to answer. 
How much could she know, this ankle biter?  He kept silent, but
her smile made him purr softly despite himself.

     "What's your name?" she asked, as if speaking to strange
winged lions you used as furniture in the middle of the forest
were the most natural thing in the world.  He eyed her warily. 
Who could she be?

     His silence made her smile fade a little.  After a few
moments it turned into a full fledged pout.  He held out
valiantly for as long as he could, but then she sniffled.

     "I'm Keroberus!" he rushed to say.  "Pleased to meet you!"

     She smiled again, and he found that it was an infectious and
innocent smile.  Much like Sakura's.

     Speaking of his master, she wouldn't be happy with him
giving himself away like this.  It was bad enough that he'd let
himself be seen by a human let alone giving away the secret of
his amazing intelligence and powers of speech.

     "My name is Ayumi," the child said.  "Where are we going
Kero ... Kerobu ... Kerobari-san?"

     He grimaced a little.  He'd always been so proud of the very
dashing name that Clow had given him.  Little girls couldn't be
expected to understand it's grandeur, though.  "What do you mean
where are we going?  You ought to go home now.  These woods are
no place for a little girl all alone."

     "But Mommy said!  She said you'd take care of me!  She said
you'd take me to the new place!  The safe place!"

     "No way.  We're going to find this mother of yours, and
she's going to take you straight home."  He looked around for
evidence of this strange woman that apparently liked to look for
sleeping lions to leave her daughter with.

     "But we can't."

     "Why not?"  The nerve of some parents these days!

     "Because she's gone.  She died a long time ago."

     "Well then, we'll just have to find her because there's no- 
Dead?"

     The girl nodded miserably.

     "How long ago?"

     "When I was a baby."

     "But she told you that I'd take you someplace safe?"

     Another nod.

     "When did she tell you that?"

     "Last night.  She helped me find you and said you'd tell me
what to do next and that I'd have a place to stay and a new
teacher and that I should get some sleep and then she said that
she was done now and that I'd be okay if I always did what my new
sensei said and that she had to go but she loved me."

     Oh dear.  "Did something happen last night?  Something your
mommy had to wait a long time to finish?"  It sounded like a
fairly classic haunting.  

     The child nodded.  "There was a bad man.  He wanted to hurt
me, but Mommy helped me be brave and he yelled a lot and then he
fell and Mommy brought me here.  Mommy's gone now.  She said I
should be brave."

     It seemed there was nothing he could do.  Nothing but take
her to Sakura and see if she could find out where she belonged. 
"Come with me," he said gallantly.  "I know someone who'll help
you."


***


     "Yue, love, what are you still doing here?"

     It was the morning ritual.  Her line followed by his line
followed by her line.

     "This is where you are, beloved."

     "Yue, this is my bed.  I sleep here."

     "That's why I'm here, beloved."

     "Have you been here all night?"

     "Yes, beloved."

     "Yue, you don't sleep."

     "But you do, beloved."

     "Yue, don't you ever get bored just watching me sleep night
after night?"

     The dreamy look in his eyes made her melt this morning. 
Just like every other morning.  "No, beloved."  He shifted
forward just a bit even as he asked "Am I disturbing you?  I
could leave."

     She smiled as he reached towards her.  Unthinking she moved,
her body meeting his for their morning kiss.

     Unfortunately, this was not one of the days when she could
afford to let the morning kiss turn into anything more.  Answers
had come in the night, and she needed to act on them before she
began to forget.  She sighed as she pulled away from that divine
contact.  She sat on the edge of the bed and looked back fondly
at her lover.  "You know..." she began slowly.  "You know that it
really wouldn't bother me if you left.  I mean ... if you wanted
to."

     His eyes were serious.  "I know that, master."

     Picking a piece of discarded clothing from the floor, she
hurled it at him.  Scattered clothing in an otherwise clean room
was one of the hazards of being desperately in love with a
physically perfect magical being whose stamina (sexual and
otherwise) was directly proportional to your own magical
strength.  If you asked Sakura, however, she'd tell you it was
worth the price.  "Yue!  You promised!"

     The seriousness in him was immediately replaced by a glint
of play.  "I'm sorry, master."

     "Yue!"  She grabbed hold of his impossibly long hair and hit
him with it.  "I put up with it when I was ten because I was an
intimidated kid who was trying to figure out what she'd gotten
herself into!  I put up with it when I was twenty because you
were as stubborn as ... as ... Onii-chan!  I put up with it for
the last two centuries because it was familiar and I was worried
about you!  Two hundred *years* I let you call me master.  I
didn't like it *then* and I'm not going to let you keep calling
me that *now!*  We've been lovers for twelve years!"

     "But Sakura-sama-"

     "Don't call me Sakura-sama!"

     "What shall I call you, master?"

     Anger was getting her nowhere.  She decided to try pouting. 
"Yue, please?"

     He came up from his side of the bed to embrace her from
behind.  "Alright.  I'm sorry.  I was teasing."

     "Not the first time."

     "No.  The first time was instinct.  Habit.  You know my
heart, beloved, but you still feel very much like my master.  The
magician that I've sworn eternal loyalty to."

     "Yue, I never-"

     He gently placed one pale hand over her lips.  "I know.  You
never liked it.  You were never comfortable with it.  It wasn't
what you'd come to expect from a guardian because of what
Keroberus taught you."

     She made a small grunting protest.

     "Yes, I know.  It's never been in your nature to demand
loyalty, but it's the very essence of my nature to give it,
willing master or no."  She struggled half heartedly in his
grasp, his words re-awakening old insecurities about the nature
of their relationship.  He knew those ghosts well, and he held
her even closer brushing his lips across the skin nearest them. 
She couldn't help arching back into him just a little.  "I serve
you because I was made to serve you."  Another butterfly kiss and
then another.  "I love you because I chose to love you.  You own
me completely because the parts of me that are mine, I give to
you freely.  The rest of me has always been yours."

     Both arms dropped to her waist; held her tight; offered a
measure of security.  She shivered, then whispered her remaining
doubts.  "Oh, Yue, I know.  But sometimes ..."

     He bent his head.  "Sakura.  How can I make you believe?"

     His sorrow was plain.  She felt a rush of guilt, and took
his hands fiercely in hers.  "I believe, Yue!  I do!  It's just
... sometimes ..."

     She fell into silence not able to explain; afraid to make
things worse.  So they held each other, each needing reassurance
and contact; each feeling the other's pain by long familiarity;
each wishing they could heal the other.  At last, Sakura said the
only words that would help.  "I love you, Yue."

     His fingers laced through hers.  "I love you."

     And perhaps there was nothing so urgent to attend to this
morning after all.  Perhaps the most important thing was to be
with him and to take joy in his love.  To show him the adoration
and dedication that defied words, and when the time was right, to
confess that her own loyalty for some time had also been his
alone.  That everything she did was for love of him.

     When day and duty did claim her at last, she'd be ready, but
for now there was only love; only choice and passion.


***


     "Come in, child, come in."  Keroberus nudged aside the cloth
over the kitchen door, and waited for Ayumi to overcome her
obvious awe of the house enough to walk through it without
endangering herself.  If his guess was correct and she had been
raised in one of the nearby villages, she'd never seen a building
as large as this one in her short five years.  Why, their kitchen
was probably as large as her entire house.  Stupid technophobes. 
He admired some of their ideals, but in the real world a child
this age disappearing for this long was unheard of.  He couldn't
take her back to civilization himself, obviously, but Sakura
would certainly be happy to do it once she was ... up.

     Those two.

     He followed the little girl into the room, then sighed as
she fidgeted nervously.  "Now then.  Can you help me make some
breakfast?"

     "Um ... I guess."

     "Are you hungry?"

     She shook her head defiantly, but he knew that was her
cultural conditioning speaking.  It was obvious that she'd
already missed at least one meal.  Keroberus had often wished
that he had been blessed with a gift for cooking.  It was
difficult to excel in the culinary arts when one had no hands,
however, and while his smaller form was probably better suited to
the task, he didn't want to frighten the child by changing shape. 
He needed her help if he was going to get anything nutritious
into her before someone with opposable thumbs stumbled out of the
bedroom.

     He smiled.  It was wonderful that Yue and Sakura had
discovered this great love between them.  Heaven knew that they'd
both been alone for far too many years.  Being totally aware of
his master's emotions during their hot twelve year affair,
however, was sometimes a bit ... uncomfortable for him.  She
still had no idea they were so connected, but the looks he
sometimes got from Yue didn't help matters any.

     And while they were thinking only of one another, he
suddenly had a strange child to take care of.  Just his luck. 
"Open that cupboard there."

     She took a tentative step in the direction his nose was
pointing and he moved to push a chair under it for her.  "Be
careful."

     "Is it this one?"

     "Yeah.  That one."

     Cautiously, she opened the door, then peered inside.

     "There should be a tall white bottle there."

     Her hand reached out to touch the strange white container. 
She jerked her arm back quickly with a cry.

     "What is it?  What's wrong?"

     She looked down in wounded suspicion.  "It's cold!"

     "Hmmmph!  Technophobes!"

     "What?"

     "It's cold, but it won't hurt you.  Pull it out and put it
on the counter."

     She touched it experimentally, then grabbed it as if she
expected it to run away if she wasn't firm.  Slowly, she
retracted her arm, then placed the milk on the counter.

     After her reaction to the slight magical cold of one small
cupboard, he wasn't about to try to guide her through anything so
involved as making rice or heating soup.  She'd just have to make
do with cold cereal for now.  Thank goodness for the master's
acquiescence to his sweet tooth.

     He helped Ayumi to find bowls, cups, and a spoon, showed her
which to fill with what, and where to set his.  He reassured her
that the chair was a good place to sit.  The table was too high
for kneeling on the floor.

     "Now," he insisted.  "Please eat your own share.  To thank
you for your help."

     "But ..." she poked the crunchy flakes suspiciously.  "Is it
safe?  For people?"

     "Trust me," he purred.  "You'll like it."

     He could see her struggling between fear of this new unknown
-- strange white fluid over strange hard flat things -- and her
obvious hunger.  She smelled the bowl cautiously, then fished out
a single flake and licked it.  When she put it in her mouth at
last, she chewed it thoroughly, then swallowed it with a
tentative smile.  When she glanced down at him self consciously,
he quickly dropped his head and began to lap his own breakfast
enthusiastically.  When he did look up again, Ayumi was quickly
devouring the cereal, and he suspected that before long she'd let
herself be talked into seconds.  He smiled.  She seemed like a
sweet and intelligent girl.  Strongly gifted too.  It was almost
certain that she had not received any training.  A shame.  With
her intelligence she might easily become one of the great powers
of her generation.  Even moon energy had it's place in the
magical scheme of things, flawed as it was.

     "Can I have more?"

     Their ravenous appetites, for example, often created
problems for the moon powered.

     
***


     Yue was wonderful.  He was beautiful and sweet and he always
knew how to make her feel better and she loved him *so* much.

     In rather high spirits, she took his hand and dragged him
towards the kitchen.  She needed to eat something, and then she
could get to work on trying to solve the reflected light problem. 
She'd been trying to work it out in her mind for decades, but
she'd never been very good with magical theory.  All she knew was
that Moon Guardians had to rely on magic from a human.  Yue had
sworn to serve her all those years ago, therefore it was her job
to provide him with the energy he needed to live and do magic and
be happy.  After all, she had more than enough power for herself,
and Kero-chan, and all her spells, and Yue too.  She loved Yue
very much and wanted him to be healthy.  Right now everything was
alright because she was so strong.  Once, though, it had been
different.

     In time, all humans died.  Clow had died, and Syaoran, and
her father, and someday she too would have to leave her beloved
guardians; would have to entrust her friend Keroberus and her
lover Yue to a new master and a future that was inscrutable to
her.  Someday she would die.

     When that happened, Sakura was determined to make sure that
Yue would be safe.  She was determined to make sure that he had
enough energy to live even if his new master couldn't support him
all alone right away.  No one else would lose their onii-chan if
she could help it.  That meant that she would have to figure out
how Yue worked and change it somehow.

     They hadn't talked about it much.  She'd tried to figure out
what to do for a long time, but lots of things had gone wrong.

     Onii-chan had suggested that she focus on other things for a
while.  Making him happy first, and then worrying about some
distant future.  As long as she and Yue were together, they'd
both be fine.  She'd taken a break from the science and mechanics
of magic.  Somehow, she'd sensed that the timing hadn't been
quite right.  Now, though, she was beginning to know with an
instinct that inspired both fear and hope that it was time to
start.  Time to try something.  Anything.  That she was ready and
Yue was ready and the universe would align to help.

     First, though, she was going to have some breakfast.

     And find out why there was a little girl sitting at her
kitchen table.

     Sakura blinked.  She looked from the girl to Keroberus and
then back again.  There was something about her...

     "Good morning!"  There was only a trace of good natured
teasing in Kero-chan's voice, but Yue glared at him from behind
their master just the same.

     She looked again at the little stranger who was staring back
at her with those eyes that were so clear and intelligent and
somehow ...

     "Kawaii!" she gushed, and let go of Yue to walk to the table
and kneel in front of the girl.  She was so adorable!  She had to
fight herself to keep from giving the frightened child a bear hug
on the spot.  Then Yue cleared his throat and she felt a little
foolish.  She leaned away a little.

     "Hello there," Sakura said, smiling brightly at their guest. 
The child dropped her spoon loudly and looked from Sakura to Yue,
then back to Keroberus.  "Don't be afraid.  What's your name?" 
This was bound to be an interesting story, but before she heard
it, she felt she needed to make the girl feel comfortable.  She
continued to smile.

     Serious blue eyes were studying her intently, and she
smiled, and waited, and felt a tiny whisper of magic that was not
her own.  The child's magic?  It had to be.  It felt very much
like the scrutiny she used to get from her older brother on a
regular basis.  A piercing magical vision that she herself
lacked.  Her smile softened a bit.  Nothing could be kept from
those wise little eyes, but that was alright.  She could ride
this out because she had nothing to hide this time.  She kept her
thoughts as reassuring as possible.  She only wanted to find out
why this little one was here so that she'd know what to do for
her.  She only wanted to help.

     The magic faded and the girl smiled shyly.  "Ayumi," she
whispered.  "My name is Ayumi."

     "Ayumi-chan was down in the canyon," Keroberus volunteered. 
"She asked me to help her."

     "Just walked up to you, and ..."

     Keroberus hung his head.  "Basically."

     "There ..." The tiny squeak from Ayumi surprised her, and
she turned her attention back to the child.  "There was a ... a
*bad* man.  He wanted to hurt me!  Mommy helped me.  She told me
to come here.  She helped me find Kero ... Kerobo ...  He brought
me here.  Away from the bad people!  There are lots of bad
people!"

     Sakura placed her hand gently the trembling child's
shoulder.  "It's alright, Ayumi-chan.  You're safe now.  No one
is going to hurt you here."  She stooped to look at her from her
own eye level and smiled once more.  "My name is Sakura.  This is
my friend Yue."  He nodded; a neutral expression on his pale
face.  "And that one there?"  She pointed to her Sun Guardian. 
"His name is Keroberus, but you can just call him Kero-chan."

     "Sakura!" an offended whine.

     "Now.  Have you had enough to eat?"

     While Keroberus mumbled something about fourth helpings,
Ayumi nodded.

     "Then, perhaps you could tell me what happened.  Why were
you all alone?"

     The girl seemed troubled.  "I was ... I wasn't ...  See,
there was this man ..."  She stared down at her empty bowl and
tried to gather her thoughts.  "He wanted to hurt me.  I was
scared, so I ran away.  He followed me, though, and then ..."

     When Ayumi stopped, Sakura looked at Keroberus.  He
shrugged.  He hadn't seen any of this.  For some reason, Ayumi
didn't want to tell the rest of the story.  She didn't seem
afraid of Sakura, but perhaps she felt that her story would ...

     Her clothes were those of a child from a village of
primitives.  They were proud that they didn't rely on the
technology that they felt had betrayed their ancestors.  They did
everything by hand or with simple machines. They claimed to
believed in no gods but seemed to fear them just the same.  Above
all, they were suspicious of anything they did not understand. 
They were just as opposed to magic as they were to science.  More
so because they couldn't control it or ban it or explain it away. 
Ayumi had been raised by primitives.  Ayumi had survived to her
present age among them despite the fact that she possessed the
sight, and a strong magical gift.

     Sakura was willing to bet that she had not accomplished this
by being talkative.

     "Ayumi-chan, did the village find out?  That you could see
things?"

     Five year old eyes went wide with surprise and fear.

     "It's alright.  No one here is going to hurt you.  Some
people are afraid, but we're not afraid.  You can tell me what
happened."

     That power stirred again.  That gaze pinned her, and she let
it batter and batter at her soul because she understood.  People
had been afraid of her abilities too.  She wasn't a seer, but she
knew that they weren't scary or evil.

     Again she seemed to pass Ayumi's test.  The child relaxed
and began to tell the story. 

      "It was I-chan.  Her mother came and asked me if I knew
where I-chan was.  I told her I didn't know, 'cause I hadn't seen
her since that morning, so she was scared and sad.  I didn't know
what to say but then I saw a picture of a place.  An old place
with some bricks and a well and I-chan and I found it once when
we went on a walk and that was where I-chan was but Grandma said
not to tell people when I saw things like that but I-chan's mommy
was crying and crying and I-chan was down there and she was
scared and she was crying too.  I told her what I saw.  I told
her and she said I was lying but she took some men and went and
got I-chan and I-chan's leg was hurt and they yelled at me a lot. 
They all yelled at me and the bad man was there and I was afraid
and I ran away.  I ran because they knew and they hated me and
the bad man wanted to hurt me.  Then Mommy helped me and the bad
man is gone now."

     Sakura closed her eyes.  The story was all too believable. 
The tale of a magically gifted child in a village of modern day
superstition.  There were still many things about the tale that
she didn't understand, but details could wait.  The poor girl had
been through enough for now.  "Did he hurt you?"

     Ayumi nodded solemnly, then bared her stomach revealing an
impressive purple bruise.  

     "Don't worry, I'll fix it," Sakura promised.  "Now close
your eyes."

     The girl did so with a faith that tugged at Sakura's heart. 
How could anyone hurt such a precious child?  She passed one hand
slowly over the injury.  She didn't sense anything seriously
wrong internally.  It was a painful wound, but not dangerous. 
There were a few minor scrapes and bumps elsewhere on her body. 
She healed all of these with a whisper of magic.  For a moment,
she considered touching the mind as well.  It would be so easy to
nudge the child into sleep.  So easy to explain away the healing
power after a day's deep rest, and sleep would certainly be good
for Ayumi's troubled soul, but she held back.  This child had a
strong magical gift of her own, and if Sakura had anything to say
about it, she'd be taught to use it properly. 

     She didn't have to tell Ayumi when she finished.  Her eyes
opened and she smiled serenely. "What was the pink?"

     "Pink?"  Sakura was momentarily confused.  She looked at
Keroberus who was chuckling softly.  Even Yue seemed amused.  Had
she missed something?

     "The pink that came inside me.  It made me stop hurting. 
Look.  It's all around you."  She pointed from Sakura to Yue. 
"And he's all silver.  And Kero-chan-san is all gold."  She
laughed, and continued to look at each of them.

     "She's never experienced real magic before," Yue explained. 
"You've awakened her magical sight."

     "Oops."  Sakura sat down at the table and thought about
that.  She'd wanted Ayumi to learn about magic.  Now it seemed
she'd inadvertently begun advanced lessons.  

     Ayumi giggled as she looked all around her.  Sakura could
only imagine what she was seeing.  There were plenty of
enchantments in the kitchen of the every day living variety. 
Spells were much more efficient than trying to keep technology
operating so far from any real civilization.  "Ayumi, do you know
what magic is?"

     The trusting gaze was once again turned to her.  "You mean
like curses?"

     Not a promising beginning.  "Well ... partly.  But there are
also good spells.  Like spells to make little girls stop
hurting."

     "That was magic?"

     Sakura nodded calmly.

     "So you can do magic?"

     "Yes.  I can do some spells and I can tell when other people
do magic too.  That's the pink that you saw."

     "So ... so the magic is inside you?"  She tilted her head to
the side with an air of contemplation.

     "That's right."

     "Does it tickle?"

     Sakura shook her head doing her best to stifle a childish
giggle.  "No.  No, it's like ... breathing.  It's a natural part
of some people.  If you have it, you don't even notice it unless
you're thinking about it.  Like when you use it for a spell."

     "And then it tickles?"

     "Well ... maybe a little."

     Ayumi regarded her solemnly, and then yawned with vigor, and
Sakura remembered with guilt that the child had been through much
in the last twenty-four hours.  This was no time for lectures. 
"Ayumi-chan!"  She quickly made a decision.  "Come with me." she
said, holding her hand out to the little girl.  "Let's put you to
bed."

     And with that same perfect trust, Ayumi touched Sakura's
wrist, and then held her other arm up until Sakura, with a lump
in her throat, picked her up and held her close.  "Sakura-sensei
has magic," Ayumi whispered in a sleepy voice.  "And so do her
friends.  And so does Ayumi-chan.  White magic.  Like Mommy." 
She clutched Sakura tightly.  "Right, Sakura-sensei?"

     "Right, Ayumi-chan.  Now sleep.  We'll talk about this when
you wake up."  But the child had fallen asleep before the words
were out of her mouth, and she looked from one guardian to the
other.  "Goodness!  Absolutely *nothing* gets past this one."


-----------------------------------------------------------------

Author's notes.

For the unfamiliar character, I cry you mercy.  It really couldn't
be avoided.  Please bear with me and I promise to do my best to 
keep her from being as annoying as she could be.

I would like to acknowledge the courage, wisdom, and downright 
amazing patience of my wonderful pre-readers for this fic, Krista 
Perry and Rachael Whitman.  They have kept me from looking terribly
*terribly* foolish on many litterary counts, and I am more grateful 
than I can say.

This is a ROUGH DRAFT of this story.  Please do not archive it 
anywhere.  It's not going to be here forever, but believe me, 
you'll want the new version anyway.