Martial Arts Marriage Ceremony

Another Ranma 1/ 2 Story by Michelle Thatcher

Legal and intro stuff: This is a story.  All the characters
in it belong to a bunch of really wealthy people with highly
paid lawyers, so don't use or reproduce this story in any
form for the sake of profit.  I know I won't.  

##########################



Chapter One: Critical Thinking

***

     Ranma was discouraged.

     It wasn't that he didn't like the uncute tomboy.  It
wasn't that at all.  He really did like her.  Of course, it
had taken her almost dying and their almost getting married
to make him realize it.  

     Funny how their almost wedding had galvanized his
resolve in a way that their ordeal at Jyusendo had not.  

     Deity, but she had looked good in that dress!  

     That moment more than any other had helped him to
banish the 'Keep Akane at arms length' reflex back to the
frightening and dark reaches of his primal insecurity.  He
knew now that more than anything else, he wanted her to be
happy.  He wanted to be with her.  He had realized it when
he'd seen the almost hidden disappointment in her eyes when
her father had announced his decision to postpone the
wedding.  The funny thing was that he, too, had been
disappointed.  He wouldn't have admitted it at the time, but
he had been surprised at how strongly that disappointment
had gnawed at his heart.  

     He didn't want to wait any longer.  He wanted to get
married.  He wanted to marry Akane.  He wanted to do it now.

     That was the root of his discouragement.

     He was pretty sure that Akane would go along with it. 
He hadn't had the courage to talk to her about it yet, but
after all this time, he thought that he actually understood
what she'd been trying to show him all along.  What her
anger and her jealousy and her refusal to give up trying to
cook him a decent meal and her little glimpses of shyness
and embarrassment really meant.  

     She kinda sorta maybe liked him too.

     She had as much as admitted it when they'd talked
before they *didn't* get married.  She'd said that she was
willing to go through with it because he'd said that he
loved her.

     Of course, like an idiot, he'd denied saying anything
of the sort and pushed her away again, justly incurring her
sometimes-unjust wrath.  But the point was still valid.  She
(for reasons he couldn't fathom) *liked* him.  Maybe...
maybe even... maybe even loved him.

     The thought was electrifying.  The thought was
thrilling and wonderful and terrifying all at once.  

     Akane would go along with the wedding.  He was pretty
sure that that wouldn't be a problem once he got up the
courage and the brain function to speak sincerely and
intelligently with her about it.  She wasn't the problem.

     The problem was everyone else.  

     He wasn't *quite* naive enough to believe that all the
people who had descended like a plague of locusts to destroy
the first wedding attempt would be on their best behavior
for a second one.  Chances were good that they'd still be
upset by the prospect of losing him or Akane (or both in the
bizarre case of a certain Kendoist) once and for all.  And
chances were even better that they'd, once again, try to do
something about it.

     Of course, he'd never been able to prove that Mousse,
or Ryoga, or Happosai had acted deliberately to sabotage the
event, but he wasn't throwing out all his suspicions just
yet either.  The girls on the other hand...  Well, it just
hadn't been pretty. 

     He had two choices:  

     One: he could give up on the idea of getting married
anytime soon and try to wait out his problems.  This had the
advantage of not hurting anybody too badly, at least not as
badly as they would be hurt by being told "You're not the
one that I love."  It also had the disadvantage of
uncertainty.  Chances were good that he'd be waiting until
he and Akane were both old and grey.

     Two: he could find a way to: 
          A.  Tell Akane how he felt
          B.  Ask her to marry him
          C.  Actually pull off a wedding ceremony without
either one of them being kidnaped /killed /drugged
/hypnotized and without allowing "things" to get so out of
hand that the whole thing would once again be called off.

     Neither prospect seemed very good to him.  

     And so, he sat.  He was doing his best to keep his mind
clear of other things and work on gaining enough focus to
come up with a way out of his problems when there was a
knock at on his door frame.  He looked up to see Nabiki
leaning through it.  "This came for you," she said, holding
a letter towards him.  

     "Come in," he said, reaching to take it.

     Curious, she stood next to him as he pulled it out of
the envelope.  The yen signs in her eyes were *almost* but
not quite invisible as she saw the characters on the outside
fold.  "Challenge" they said proudly.  She made between
thirty and forty thousand yen on a typical fight involving
Ranma.  More if she had advance notice.

     Her scheming was interrupted when Ranma sighed loudly. 
Not just a little sigh, or a "Here we go again" sigh, but a
real, honest to goodness, unhappy, almost depressed sigh. 
Nabiki frowned.  That wasn't normal.  He usually just
shrugged at challenges and met them head on.  What was
getting him down?  She didn't want him off during a fight. 
It would make the outcome too unpredictable.  She bit her
lip and calculated.

     "Who's it from?" she finally asked.

     "Mousse."  

     "What does he want?"

     Ranma looked down at the letter unenthusiastically. 
"He wants to kill me for dishonoring his lovely Shampoo."

     The flatness of his tone concerned her.  This could be
*very* bad for business.  "So what are you going to do?"

     He looked up at her apathetically.  "Beat him up I
guess."

     "But you don't really want to?"

     "'Course not.  I got nothin' against Mousse.  Not
really."

     This was not the Ranma she knew.  Where was his care-
free enthusiasm?  Where was his arrogance and fire?  She
studied him for a moment.  Maybe it was just his situation. 
Mousse was a nice enough sort.  Just a little dense at
times.  For that reason alone he and Ranma should be the
best of friends.  "You know what your problem is?"

     Ranma's lips tightened.  He knew exactly what his
problem... No, his *problems* were.  He didn't need Nabiki
trying to capitalize off yet *another* fight that he wished
would never happen.  "Yeah.  I'm a cold, thoughtless, money
grubber who cares more about yen than I do about my friends
or my pride," he growled.  "No wait.  That's *your*
problem,"  He looked back down at the letter and sulked some
more.

     "Why is that a problem?" Nabiki asked, her eyes wide
and innocent. Then she sobered, the money suddenly seeming
less important than seeing Ranma's confident grin again. 
"All kidding aside, Ranma-kun, I don't like seeing you this
unhappy.  Let me give you some friendly advice.  Your
problem is that you just don't understand people."  She put
a hand lightly on his shoulder.  "Think of it kind of like-"
she paused, trying to think of a metaphor that would help
Ranma grasp this concept.  There was only one thing that
would work for sure.

     "Think of it kind of like martial arts.  In a battle,
you have to know your enemy.  You have to get inside his
skin; guess what he's thinking.  Learning his strengths and
weaknesses isn't enough.  You've got to understand his
motivation so that you can guess whether or not he wants to
win more than you do, what he's going to do next,  and why,
and how he'll respond to what you do."  

     She leaned a little closer for emphasis.  "If you
understood what motivates Mousse, then you might find a way
to make friends with  him.  All you've got to do is help him
see that you two have common interests."

     Suddenly Ranma was intrigued.  "Common interests?" he
asked.  

     "Look it up in the dictionary," she said as she headed
for the door.  

     "Hey Nabiki," he called after her.

     "Hmm?" she turned her head to look at him and he
smiled.

     "Thanks.  That's good advice."

     Nabiki smiled back.  "Always glad to serve."  She held
out her hand.  "That'll be five hundred yen."

******

Chapter Two: Diplomacy

******

     Ranma scowled at the dictionary.  

     He was pretty sure that he knew what "common" meant. 
He didn't think Nabiki meant to say that his "interests"
were "coarse or crude" or that they were "of the usual kind;
ordinary."  He was pretty sure that she meant the "belonging
equally to each or all" kind of common.

     "Interests" was another matter.  Did she mean "a
feeling of wanting to know or learn" or did she mean "what
is good for one"?  He and Mousse weren't interested in many
of the same things.  Martial arts and cures for Jusenkyo
curses were about it.  That couldn't be what she'd meant.

     That left the good for one answer, but it didn't make a
lot of sense to him.  What could possibly be good for both
him *and* Mousse?  Mostly Mousse wanted to marry Shampoo, so
he was mad at Ranma because...  Because Shampoo was in love
with him.  _That's it!_  Ranma realized. _Mousse wants
Shampoo to stay away from me!  I want the same thing!_  This
was worthy of further thought.  

     Nabiki was right.  This was just like a battle.  He had
to figure out how he could make Mousse work *for* him
instead of *against* him.

     But could Mousse be reasoned with?

     There was only one way to find out.  Ranma stood up and
walked towards the front door.

     "Ranma?" Akane's cheerful voice froze him in place.  

     He turned to look at her where she stood at the base of
the stairs.  He smiled a little, lost in her deep brown
eyes.  Would he ever be able to show her how he felt?

     "Are you going somewhere, Ranma?"

     Ranma blinked, unsure of what the best response would
be.  If he told her that he was going to the Nekohanten,
she'd assume the worst. _Quick, say something you idiot. 
She's gonna get mad in a second_.  "I'm going to the
Nekohanten." 

     "Oh really?" she asked coldly, as Ranma mentally
slapped himself in the forehead.  "And what will you be
doing there?"

     _Nothing for it now._ "I need to talk to Mousse."

     "*Mousse*?!  You're going to talk to *Mousse*?!"

     Ranma nodded. "Uh-hu," he said eloquently, leaving his
mouth hanging open for a few seconds afterward. _Why does
she have this effect on me?_  

     Akane's expression darkened.

  _Great,_ he thought.  _Akane and I are going to have
another fight._  Could all the thinking that he'd been doing
about how not to fight with Mousse help him now?  He'd
decided to look at it like battle tactics.  He might be able
to stop putting his foot in his mouth if he tried to respond
to her as if this were a battle.  A battle of words.  By now
he ought to know Akane well enough to be able to do that
get-under-her-skin thing that Nabiki was talking about, and
guess how she'd react to what he'd say.  _Think, man._

     Akane's lips formed a tight, thin line.  Her fists
clenched and Ranma could almost hear her teeth grinding. 
Suddenly, he had an inspiration.  "Do you wanna come too?"
he asked, as innocently as he could.  His hand went to the
back of his neck and he smiled up at her nervously.  _I sure
hope this works._  

     "You're *such* a stup...  What did you say?"

     Ranma smiled for real this time.  "Come with me."

     The effect this request had on her was even better than
Ranma had hoped.  The sharp lines in her face softened, and
eventually settled into a nice, almost dreamy smile.  "I... 
I mean, I'd like to, but...  Kasumi... and laundry...
helping, and..."

     _So I'm not the only one who gets a little tongue tied. 
That's nice to know._ "Okay.  I'll be back in time for
dinner."  He wanted to touch her as he walked by.  Maybe
take her hand, or brush her arm, but habit won out, and he
stepped clear of her carefully as he walked the rest of the
way to the door.

***

     _There she goes._  Ranma watched Shampoo pedal away as
he sat on the roof across the street.  It was time to make
his move.  He wanted to be on his way home before she got
back from her delivery.  He jumped to the sidewalk and
crossed to the doorway quickly, ignoring the stares and the
pointing of the other pedestrians.  

     There weren't very many customers in the ramen shop. 
That was probably good.  He chose a table, and waited for
Mousse to get to him.

     It didn't take long for the myopic waiter to come to
his table.  He was halfway through the specials when Ranma
cut him off.  "Mousse, we need to talk."

     Adjusting his glasses, Mousse took another look at his
customer.  "Oh, it's you Saotome.  If you think that you can
change my mind, then you're wasting your time.  I'm going to
defeat you and free Shampoo once and for all."

     "That's what I wanna talk to you about.  Freein'
Shampoo.  Is there any way that she can forget about me and
go home?  Does she really hafta marry me before she can ever
return to your village?"

     Mousses face clouded over with rage.  "How *dare* you
taunt me?!  I will make you suffer, Saotome!  This I swear
on-"

     "Yeah, yeah, I know.  Just answer the question.  What
would it take to get Shampoo to forget about me?"

     "If only she would forget you, you enemy of women! 
When we fight next week, then she'll be able to go home. 
She won't be expected to marry a dead man!"

     "Sure.  Whatever.  Just one more question.  Shampoo's
crazy about me.  What makes you think that killin' me will
get you on'er good side?  Aint it more likely that she'll
hate you for it, or even try'n kill you?  Are you sure
you've thought this through enough?"

     "What else am I supposed to do!?"

     "I dunno.  I'm sure not the expert on love, but if you
let me, I wanna help you get Shampoo to like you."

     Mousse looked suspicious.  "Why are you being nice to
me?"

     "'Cause I think you'n me both want the same thing: for
Shampoo ta leave me alone.  I'll level with you.  I kinda
like... I mean, I really wanna...  You know, I'm really in
l- l-"  _Great.  Akane ain't even here and I'm chokin' on my
tongue._  It was time to regroup.  "I got nothin' against
Shampoo, but I don't wanna marry her.  If you wanna marry
her, then I'll help, 'cause that way she won't be feedin' me
any more hypnosis mushrooms or nothin'.  I wanna get her to
like you."

     "Oh?  And just how are you going to do *that*?"

     "I got a couple of ideas.  What if you beat her up?"

     "And what good would that do?"

     "Well duh.  She wants to marry me because I beat her. 
If you beat her, won't she have to marry you?  I've seen
that dumb law book of yours.  She has to marry a male who
beats her."

     Mousse snorted.  "You obviously weren't paying
attention.  The law doesn't say that she has to marry any
male who beats her, it says she has to marry any *outsider*
male who beats her.  Within the tribe, any male who attacks
a female is punished."

     There went plan A.  "Well, what if I got married?  If I
was married to Ak-  If I was to marry Ak-  If I married
somebody else, would Shampoo still be after me?"

     Mousse smirked.  Obviously Ranma didn't need to draw
him a diagram.  He was thinking about it, though, and that
was all that mattered. "Hmm. *If* you could pull off a
wedding without Shampoo or anyone else interfering, she
might still come after you, but only if she decided that
you'd come back to her if she could prove that she was the
better wife for you.  That would mean that she might
challenge Ak- I mean, the girl you married to a fight.  I
don't think that's what you want."

     "No, of course not."

     "Still, marrying... someone else would go a long way
towards showing her that you're really not interested. 
Sooner or later though, the two of them would have to
fight."

     That didn't sound good.  The thought of putting Akane
in danger made him feel sick inside.  Of course, he'd try to
always be there to protect her, but he was only human. 
Maybe he should offer to train with her regularly.  Just in
case.  Hopefully they'd be able to reason with Shampoo, and
it wouldn't come to a fight, but the extra training couldn't
hurt anything, and it would give him a chance to spend more
time with her.    

       "Listen, can we talk tonight?  Sometime when you're
not working?"

     Mousse looked intent for a moment.  "You're really
serious about this, aren't you?"

     "Dead serious."

     "Alright.  I'll come to the dojo when I get off.  I'll
give you this one chance, but if this doesn't work, you will
fight me.  Is that understood?"

     Ranma grinned.  He resisted the urge to comment on what
he thought Mousse's chances of winning such a fight were. 
He wanted an ally in him, after all.  "Perfectly.  I'll see
you then."

******

Chapter 3: Choosing Sides

******

     "*What* did you say, Ranma-kun?"

     The red and embarrassed face that Nabiki was staring at
suddenly changed from flustered and mortified to flustered
and irritated.  It seemed to be saying: "Don't make me say
it again.  The first time nearly killed me."  

     Ranma had decided that Mousse's help would be great,
but doubted that it would really be enough.  He needed
Nabiki's help as well, and he wouldn't turn up his nose at
any other allies who came along.  Still, asking her for it
had been the hardest thing that he'd ever done.

     Nabiki smirked.  "Let me see if I've got this straight. 
You want..."

     Ranma nodded.

     "my help..."

     Another nod.

     "to marry Akane."

     The third nod had some spirit to it and was accompanied
by a sound that would have been a "Yes," if Ranma's mouth
had been open.

     Fighting down another smirk, she raised an eyebrow. 
"You," she said smugly "are obviously a man who recognizes
talent when he sees it.  I think we can arrange something. 
And if I help you with this, you'll do what for me?"

     _Battle tactics._ Ranma reminded himself for what would
not be the last time.  "Two things."

     "Do tell."

     "First, I make your sister as happy as I possibly can."

     Nabiki's eyebrow arched just a bit higher.  It was
mostly affected.  The truth was that she was quite glad to
hear that he was taking this seriously, and suspected that
Akane would be as well.  Still, she had a reputation to
maintain.  "And?"

     "And second, I forget about you inviting everyone to
the last wedding and letting them break it up."

     Nabiki considered this.  The truth was that her reasons
for spoiling the last wedding had been  deep and complex,
and only partly monetary.  The gift checks had been a nice
bonus, but the idea of Ranma and Akane married at sixteen
without resolving their differences had genuinely frightened
her.  She couldn't have stood by and let that happen.  

     Looking at Ranma now, however, and seeing the
determination and sincerity in his face, she wondered if she
had made a mistake.  Nabiki considered her choices.  Akane's
happiness was important to her whether she was willing to
admit it to the world or not.  That wasn't quite motivation
enough for her to take on a project as major as the one he
was proposing.  Still, if she handled all the angles *just*
right, she could make the whole thing pretty profitable for
all concerned.  It would be quite a challenge, but...

   She smiled.  "You drive a hard bargain."  

     He smiled back, but his eyes were cautious.  "Is it a
deal then?"

     "Deal.  What do you want me to do?" 

***

     "Where is Akane-san?" Mousse asked suspiciously as he
knelt between Ranma and Nabiki on the floor of the dojo. 

     "Akane is doing homework at a friend's house," Nabiki
said loftily.  "She doesn't know about this, and it would
be... unwise for us to involve her at this time." 

     Mousse stared at her for a moment in disbelief, then
looked at his rival.  Ranma frowned a little, but nodded,
trusting Nabiki's instincts.  Mousse sat next to him.

     "Let's begin, shall we?"  

     As the meeting progressed, Ranma was more and more glad
that he'd asked for Nabiki's help.  Her pleasant and
business-like voice put things on an impersonal level that
kept both he and Mousse focused.  Without her, he suspected
that the discussion would have quickly degenerated into a
brawl.  Ranma was still unable to tell Mousse what his real
motivation was, but Nabiki had no such reservations.  Her
bluntness completely embarrassed Ranma all over again, his
face turning several colors not normally found in nature
during her little presentation.  Still, it was for the best. 
If he had tried to explain the plan to Mousse himself,
they'd have been there all night even if they didn't come to
blows.

     "That's our goal," Nabiki concluded.  "Mousse, once
Ranma and Akane are blissfully married, it should be easy
for the three of us to find a way to make the girl of your
dreams fall into your arms.  Any questions?"

     "Yes," Mousse said, his head still spinning from the
briefing.  "How are we going to do it?"

     Nabiki smiled.  "I have a few ideas."

     "Hmph.  Where have I heard that before?"  Mousse said
under his breath, then out loud he said "Go on."

     "First and foremost, we've got to get Romeo over here
to talk to Akane.  This isn't going to work without her
help.  Ranma believes that she wants to marry him, but he
can't stop saying stupid things and setting off that temper
of hers.  He's kind of thick-headed that way."

     "Hey!"

     "Are you denying it, Ranma-kun."

     Ranma looked abashed.  "No."

     "I didn't think so.  You obviously need help.  Tomorrow
on the way to school might be a good place for you to start. 
Try your hardest to avoid ticking her off, then talk to her
once you're away from the house.  You said that you wanted
to ask her to start training with you.  Ask her then."

     Ranma smiled.  This was a good idea.  His smile faded. 
"Just one problem.  Whenever I try to talk to her, one of
the others always shows up.  That's about the time that she
hits me, or pushes me into the canal or something."

     "Ranma Ranma Ranma.  You're over simplifying.  It's the
timing that's important here.  Ukyou usually makes goo-goo
eyes at you at school, then comes on to you when class gets
out.  Kodachi usually waits until you're inside the gate at
Furinkan.  You know how much she loves an audience.  The
only girl who ever really attacks you on the *way* to school
is Shampoo.  If we can keep *her* away from you for one
morning, then there would be only one thing that could mess
up this plan."

     "And what's that?"

     "Why, your big mouth, of course."

     Ranma glared, but didn't say anything.

     Nabiki smiled sweetly.  "Try not to make her mad, okay
Ranma-kun."

     "Okay.  But what about Shampoo?"

     "Leave her to me." said Mousse.


***

     For once, they weren't late.  Ranma had been up on
time, and he hadn't stalled or complained or fought with
her, which meant that they'd actually left the house at a
respectable time.  It was nice to be able to walk to school
at a leisurely pace for a change.  Ranma's balance didn't
seem to be as good at these slower speeds.  A few of his
steps seemed to be unsure as he walked on the fence beside
her.  

     Being ahead of schedule on such a beautiful day put
Akane in a good mood.  She vowed to herself that she wasn't
going to let anything spoil it.  

     "Hey Akane?" Ranma said softly.

     "Yes?"

     "Um, do you think that...  Would you like to start,
and, I mean, I think that we should, if you want to, and-"

     "What is it, Ranma?"  She smiled, but she was starting
to get suspicious.  What did he want now?  She reminded
herself that it hadn't even been a minute since she'd
resolved not to let anything spoil her mood.  Anything
included Ranma.  _Give him a chance to speak,_  A part of
her mind said.  _Last night he surprised you.  He may
again._   

     Ranma stopped, did a basic layout, and landed next to
her.  He put a hand on her shoulder so she had to stop
walking.  She fought the annoyance again as she turned to
face him. _*Good* mood! *Good* mood!  *Good* mood!_ she
reminded herself.

     "Akane," he looked into her eyes for a moment, losing
himself once again in their depths.  That dreamy smile was
tugging at his lips again, but he forced it down, deciding
that, if he was going to speak intelligibly, he couldn't
look at her.  With an effort, he pulled his eyes and
thoughts away from her face, focusing on the ground instead.

     _Battle tactics.  Battle tactics._  "I'd like to start
training with you.  Everyday."  There, he'd said it.  Now
how was she going to react?  She'd either like the idea, or
think that he was saying she was no good, and pound him.
Still not daring to look at her face, he watched her hands. 
They were starting to clench, which probably meant that he
was going to be reintroduced to her fist soon.  Maybe he
should say something to keep her from reaching her low
boiling point. He thought for a moment.  "I think that we
could help each other improve a lot."  

     She was silent, but the fists that had been forming
slowly disappeared.  When the quiet finally got to him, he
looked up again.  She seemed quite shocked.  Her eyes were
wide.  He frowned a little.  "If you don't want to, then-"

     "No!  I mean...  Um," her hands started fidgeting.  "I
mean I'd love to train with you."

     He smiled.  "Really?"

     "Yes.  I'd like to spend more time with... and, you
know, improve."  It was her turn to look down, but she was
smiling.

     "Let's start today after school.  Okay?"

     She nodded quickly and started to turn away.  Ranma
tightened his grip on her shoulder.  "Akane?"

     "Y-yes."

     He waited until she met his eyes.  "Thanks."  That
goofy grin was starting again.  This time he didn't try to
hide it.  Suddenly he felt shy and unsure again.  "You won't
regret it."  _Am I brave enough?  I don't wanna lose this
chance to show her._   He reached down and touched the back
of her hand.  She breathed in very sharply at the contact,
taken completely off guard.  This just made Ranma more
nervous, but he reminded himself how important it was to
move in the right direction with her.  It wouldn't be the
first time they'd held hands, just the first time they'd
done so in public.  

     Akane froze as that darned wonderful feeling washed
over her.  Why did it feel so good when he touched her of
his own free will?  A tap on the back of the head when they
were sparring, the way he'd carried her sometimes, and best
of all, holding his hand in the forest that day.  It was so
wonderful and so rare, and now, suddenly, on this beautiful
morning on the way to school, his fingertips were sliding
slowly, gently down the back of her hand.  She held her
breath, hoping. _Just a little lower.  A little more. 
Please let it be true._  

     When he reached the ends of her fingers, he hesitated
for a moment, scared and excited and praying silently to any
gods that were listening, and then curled his fingers
lightly around hers and began moving up her palm.  He wasn't
sure at exactly which moment they were officially holding
hands, but through the whole process, she didn't get angry
or pull away.  And then it was done.  He smiled down at her
for a moment, enjoying the feeling of her small hand in his,
then began to walk her to school.

******

Chapter 4: Moving Things Along

******

     Nabiki's room was her sanctuary.  The war rooms and
council halls of the world's leading nations had not seen
the birth of as many plans as Nabiki's room had.  Some of
the greatest schemes in history had been conceived within
its four walls.  

     Today, she lay stretched out on her bed, contemplating
her latest and greatest challenge.  So many angles.  So many
potentially lethal pitfalls.

     She was having the time of her life.

     It was a very interesting game of pick-up sticks.  One
wrong move and the entire structure would come tumbling
down; figuratively speaking, that is.  

     Downstairs a door slammed, and her younger sister's
angelic voice lilted through the house.  "YOU ARE *SUCH* A
JERK!"

     "Aw c'mon Akane, I didn't do nuthin'," was the answer.

     "JUST LEAVE ME ALONE, RANMA!"

     For a moment there was silence, and then Ranma's voice
also rose, more hurt than angry, but trying to hide it with
greater volume.  "FINE!"  

     Nabiki could hear him stomping off towards the dojo to
work out his frustration.  She wondered what had gone wrong. 
Not that she couldn't have made a few good guesses.  

     As she continued to listen from the safety of her bed,
she heard Akane moving as well.  Her footsteps were quiet as
she went into the kitchen.  Without opening the squeaky
refrigerator or any of the cupboards, she turned back around
and walked through all of the bottom floor.  _Sorry little
sis.  Kasumi's not home,_ Nabiki thought as she continued to
listen.  When Akane didn't find what, or rather who, she was
looking for, she walked slowly up the stairs, opened the
door to Kasumi's room, closed it again, and then looked in
every other room upstairs before finally coming to knock on
Nabiki's door.

     "Come in."

     Akane had calmed down considerably since coming in the
house.  She looked almost meek as she came in and sat down
on the bed next to her older sister.  "Nabiki, can I talk to
you?"

     Nabiki smiled.  Not being Akane's first choice for
confidant didn't bother her at all.  If Kasumi *had* been
home, she would just have listened in anyway.  "What is it?"

     "It's Ranma," she said with a grimace.

     The smile broadened.  "What about him?"

     Swinging her feet as much as the bed allowed her to,
and paying very close attention to her fingernails, Akane
tried to explain herself.  "He's just been acting so...
weird."

     "Weird how?"

     The foot swinging sped up a little.  It was accompanied
by a slight blush.  "Sometimes it's just...  I mean he's
just so... " she sighed.  "He's been acting so weird."

     "You said that."

     Akane growled a little, more frustrated than angry. 
How to say it?  Her feet sped up again until Nabiki could
hear them tapping against the frame through the bedding. 
Any harder and she might damage something.  She made a
mental bet with herself that the wooden frame would give out
before the foot.  "I don't know.  It's just that sometimes
he's so... so... *nice* lately."

     "And that's a problem?"

     Still blushing, Akane thought about that.  "No!"  She
gestured violently with her hands as if that would enlighten
her sister to what she meant.  "It's just so... weird."

     Grinning on only one side of her face, Nabiki regarded
her.  She couldn't have asked for a better opportunity to
move things along.  She wondered whether it would be better
to encourage her to really think about her own feelings, or
just subtly guide her toward an outburst.  She had an evil
thought.  Putting on her best serious face, she made her
move.  "So when you say 'nice' what do you mean exactly.  Is
he buying you flowers or jewelry?"

     "No."

     "Has he offered to carry your books or confessed his
undying love?"

     "No."

     "Has he recited poetry, sent you love letters, or held
your hand?"

     Akane went into hyperblush mode, gritted her teeth, and
stopped swinging her feet in favor of studying her slippers
as if expecting to find some new kind of life form growing
on them.  

     To say that Nabiki was startled would have been an
understatement.  She stared at Akane in unbelief.  "He *did*
didn't he?!"

     It took Akane a few moments, but she managed to nod
once.

     _Way to go Ranma!  I didn't think you had it in you._ 
"What happened?  I want details."

     After a few moments of deep breathing, Akane was able
to explain the events of that morning on the way to school. 
She was a little irritated by the smug look on Nabiki's
face, but didn't show it.  She had a lot on her mind.

     "That sounds nice." supplied Nabiki helpfully.  "So
what happened when you got to school?"

     Akane fidgeted.  "I'm not sure.  Someone called to me,
and I'm not sure if I dropped his hand or if he dropped
mine, but all of a sudden I was really embarrassed.  I don't
think anyone from school saw, though."  She sighed again. 
"I was pretty... okay with it, but then he was flirting with
Ukyou in class, and I got mad.  You know how he's *such* a
pervert.  Then after school, she came up to him and he was
being way too nice to her again.  *Honestly*!  It makes me
so mad the way he keeps all those girls around all the
time."

     _Oh yes.  I'm sure he was all over her._ "So you got
mad at him?"

     "Yes!" Akane shouted as if outraged that Nabiki could
doubt that fact for a second.  "The stupid pervert!  And
after what he did this morning... I ought to..."

     She made a wringing motion with her hands and scrunched
up her face.

     "So are you mad because he held your hand this morning,
or are you mad because he's still on speaking terms with
Ukyou?"

     "Neither.  I just..."

     Nabiki waited.

     "I just don't see why he can't make up his mind."

     "Have you made up your mind?"

     "Because if he'd just make up his mind, then I could... 
What did you say?"

     Nabiki smiled, then sat up next to her sister on the
bed.  "Have you..."  She pointed to Akane.  "made up..." 
She was using a great deal of sarcasm more out of habit than
out of any hope that Akane would pick up on it.  "your
mind?"

     Akane blinked.  "About Ranma?" 

     "Yes."

     Trembling, Akane closed her eyes. *Had* she made up her
mind?

     Not really expecting an answer, Nabiki gave her sister
a few moments, then said "You know, you've got to give Ranma
a little credit.  He's got no shortage of possible female
companions, but have you ever seen him *really* come on to
any other girl?  Has he ever held anyone *else's* hand?  He
could have taken advantage of his situation with Shampoo, or
with Ukyou.  He probably could have done a lot worse."

     She paused for effect.  She knew that her next
observation would make Akane angry, but it was a truth that
needed to be spoken.  "You", she said solemnly "are too hard
on him."

     Akane fumed.  How dare Nabiki suggest such a thing. 
"How can you side with that pervert?"

     "I'm not siding with anyone.  I'm just stating the
facts as I see them.  Even though you've publicly denounced
Ranma as your fiance time and time again, he's still loyal
to you.  Even though you call each other names, and you get
violent with him at the slightest provocation, he hasn't
tried to get out of his engagement to you for several months
now.  And now, you say he held your hand on the way to
school."  

     She slid a little closer to the still seething Akane
and put an arm around her shoulder.  "Honestly, sis, can't
you see that he's trying to find out how you feel about him? 
You complain that he's insensitive and then you turn around
and miss every signal that he sends your way.  You shouldn't
ignore too many more of them, because he's just not capable
of sending out any bigger ones, and it may be a long time
before he gets the courage to hold your hand again."

     She turned Akane towards her and looked into her eyes. 
"He may wait forever, but then again, he may not."

     Her anger effectively melted, Akane stared back at her
older sister.  "What should I do?" she asked, wide eyed and
a little frightened.

     A lightbulb went on in Nabiki's head.  A big one.  She
almost didn't manage to suppress the evil grin that was
tugging at her lips.

     She shrugged innocently.  "I don't know."

     Akane looked disappointed.  "You don't have any ideas
at all?"

     "None.  If it was anyone else, I'd just tell them to go
and talk to him, try to let him know how they really felt,
but I don't think that's a good idea for you."

     Stunned almost failed to describe the look on Akane's
face.  "Why not?"

     "Isn't it obvious, Akane?"  Nabiki shook her head a
little, almost like she was disappointed that her sister
could be so dense.  "When was the last time you talked
honestly about your feelings with *anybody*?  You just don't
have the patience.  Or the depth.  I mean, have you even
admitted to *yourself* how you really feel about Ranma? 
There's no *way* you'll be able to tell him the truth."

     Glaring, Akane protested.  "Yes I can!  I can tell him
if I want to!"  

     "Nope.  I'm sorry, sis, but I just don't think it's in
you."

     "It is *too*!  I'll tell him!  Just you watch!"

     "Oh really?"

     "Yeah."

     Folding her arms across her chest, Nabiki looked
skeptically at her sister.  "I don't believe it," she said. 
"I'll bet you can't even tell me.  I'll bet you five hundred
yen that you can't tell me the truth right now."

     Akane blinked.  Then she blinked again.

     "Okay." she whispered weakly.

     Nabiki waited.

     Swallowing, Akane crossed and uncrossed her legs.  She
looked at her palms, then wiped them on her uniform skirt. 
She cleaned some imaginary dirt from under her fingernail.

     "Well?" Nabiki prompted.

     "Well, the truth is that..."

     "Yes?"

     "I really...  I really... don't... hate Ranma as much
as I say I do."

     An arched eyebrow later, Nabiki said "And?"

     "And... the truth is that I really kind of like him."

     "And?"

     "And... I hope that he'll hold my hand again sometime."

     "Because?"

     "Because it feels really good."

     "Because?"

     "Because... I... really..."

     Akane's voice trailed off.  When it didn't trail back
on again, Nabiki decided to send out a Boy Scout to find it
and get it *back* to the trail.

     "I knew it," she smirked.  "Hand over the money."

     Anger and frustration crinkled Akane's face.  Her fists
clenched and she turned bright red.

     "I LOVE HIM!!!  ALRIGHT?!?!?  I'M CRAZY ABOUT HIM!!! 
IT MAKES ME *INSANE* WHEN ANOTHER GIRL GETS CLOSE TO HIM!!!
I *HATE* IT WHEN HE'S AROUND UKYOU OR SHAMPOO BECAUSE *THEY*
CAN TELL HIM THE TRUTH AND I *CAN'T!!!  IT MAKES ME WANT TO
SCREAM!!!"

     Nabiki leaned back.  The strength of Akane's pent up
emotions surprising her.  She smiled, flabbergasted.

     _I'll put this on your tab, Ranma,_ she thought.  Then
she pulled some money out of her pocket and handed it to
Akane who stared at it as if she didn't know what it was. 

     "Okay sis, you win."  She stood and pointed towards the
door.  "Now go tell *him* that."

     It took Akane a few moments to recover.  She stared at
Nabiki, then shook her head, confused.  She stood up slowly
and made her way to the door.

     "Oh, and Akane?"

     "Hmm?"

     "Try not to get angry at him.  Okay?"

     Nodding, Akane walked out into the hall, still a little
dazed, and went to her room to think and to change her
clothes.

******

Ch. 5
Saying the words

******


     "I'm here, Nabiki-san," Mousse panted, recovering from
the dead run that had brought him here.

     "You got the time off work?"

     "I'm only part time.  Remember?"

     Nabiki nodded.  She looked around to make sure that
they were alone.  "Okay.  Ranma is in the dojo.  Akane will
be joining him there in moments. If all goes well, they're
going to have a nice little heart to heart.  We have to make
sure that they're not interrupted."  She pointed to the back
yard.  "I'm going to make sure that no one goes in through
the door.  It's your job to make sure that no one goes in
through the walls.  You go around to the back."

     Nodding, Mousse turned to go.

     "And make sure Akane doesn't see you."

***

     The remains of the heavy duty punching bag that her
father had hung only a week ago were the first things that
Akane noticed as she walked into the dojo. Sand and ragged
pieces of thick black vinyl lay on the floor below the
lonely looking chain.  Someone had really done a number on
it.  Someone with a lot of adrenaline.

     His eyes closed tightly and his muscles tense, Ranma
sat in a corner in a meditation position.  The expression on
his sweat-covered face made Akane doubt that he had been
able to clear his mind.  She sighed and walked over to him.

     "Ranma."

     There was no answer.

     "Ranma?"

     He still didn't answer.  In fact, there was no change
at all.  He didn't even breathe differently.  Something was
definitely on his mind.  

     Guilt washed over Akane.  She closed her eyes and tried
to calm her pounding heart.  He'd deserved it, hadn't he. 
Ukyou had *hugged* him.  She'd been right to be angry at him
for that.  Hadn't she?  

     Hadn't she?

     She knelt next to him and put a hand on his shoulder. 
"Ranma?" she said quietly.

     Ranma's eyes opened as his mind pulled reluctantly away
from the thoughts he'd been thinking.  He turned slowly to
look at her.  He blinked, his eyes taking longer to focus
than usual.  It was Akane.  Was it his imagination or did
she look worried.  And why was she wearing her gi at this
time of day?   

     She smiled nervously.

     _I'm imagining things,_  Ranma thought. _My mind is
going._

     "Hey."  Akane said.  "Aren't we going to train?"

     Ranma blinkblinked.  "What?" he said intelligently.

     "Training," she said.  "We were going to spar. 
Remember?"

     "Umm...  Right."  His eyes closed again as he tried to
gather his wits and stuff them back into his head.  He
wanted to talk to her, so he was going to need them.

     "We need to talk," said Akane, and she sat down next to
him.

     His wits jumped back out of his head and scattered on
the floor.  He looked at her and blinked again.  "Okay."

     There was silence for a few moments.  Ranma stared at
Akane and Akane stared at the floor.  

     _She's the one who said she wanted to talk,_ he thought
in irritation.  Then he realized that wasn't really fair. 
_I wanted to talk to her too,_  He reminded himself.

     "Akane... I'm..." he put a hand on her shoulder. 
"sorry."

     Looking up at him in wonder, Akane turned.  "Sorry for
what?" she asked quietly.

     "Sorry..." Ranma closed his eyes. "for..." every muscle
in his body tensed as if he expected to be hit
"whateverIdidthatmadeyoumad!"

     The silence returned and brought friends.

     When no blows or angry words came his way, Ranma slowly
relaxed and opened his eyes.  Akane was looking at him
strangely.  "Oh," she said.

     After a moment, she turned putting her back against the
wall and stared towards the center of the dojo.  Where were
all the words that she'd planned to say?  What had happened
to all those important things that she needed to tell him? 
She was very confused.  

     _What's the matter Akane?_ a nasty voice somewhere in
her mind taunted.  It sounded suspiciously like Nabiki.  _I
knew you didn't have the patience or the depth.  I knew
you'd never be able to tell him the truth._                 

     Anger began to build in Akane.  She wasn't sure exactly
what she was mad about or why, but she was mad.  She just
knew that something was going wrong, and she didn't seem to
have the power to stop it.  She was about to explode, to
pick a convenient target and start attacking, when something
stopped her.    

     _"Oh, and Akane?  Try not to get angry at him.  Okay?"_
It was still Nabiki's voice, but it was different this time. 
It wasn't nasty or condescending, but soft, and sincere. 
That's what she'd said after their discussion.  How had she
known to say that?

     Was this how she always behaved?

     With a sinking certainty, she realized that it was. 
Nabiki had been right about a lot of things.  Most
importantly, now that the pattern of love to nervousness to
fear to anger had become clear in her own mind, she knew
that she really had been too hard on Ranma.  Nabiki was
certainly right about that.  Too hard in so many ways.  

     _She's sure been quiet for a long time,_ thought Ranma. 
He looked at her and noticed how tight her face was. _Uh-oh. 
I hope she's not still mad at me._

     He wondered what else he could say to appease her anger
if it surfaced again.  When he couldn't think of anything,
panic began to rise.

     And then, something changed.  Her expression softened
to sadness, and then to something that on anyone else might
have been regret.  Even guilt.

     This was quickly replaced by a more familiar
expression; determination.  After a second or two of
deliberating, she made her decision.  _If he can do it, so
can I._  In a rapid gesture, she grabbed Ranma's hand,
pulled it into her lap and held it tightly.  

     Ranma's wits (which he had just succeeded in collecting 
again) decided that they'd had enough and left for a nice
relaxing vacation.

     She grit her teeth for a moment, willing the words to
come back to her.  Perhaps a few warm-up confessions would
help.  She'd waited too long already.  There had been so
many times when one or the other of them had almost given up
for good.  By simple laws of averages, things couldn't stay
the way they'd been forever.  

     She had to tell him now.  If she didn't, who knew what
would happen?  Today in her sister's room, she'd said the
word out loud to herself for the first time.  She'd finally
called it what it was.  She'd called it love.

     And if she didn't say it to Ranma now, she might never
get another chance.

     "I'm... I'm sorry too Ranma." she said.

     Ranma sighed.  There they were again.  Those feelings. 
"Oh.  Well... it's okay Akane."  He smiled a little,
wondering what he could say next.  "I know that I... that
I'm a jerk sometimes."  

     Akane's eyes closed.  "Yes," she said.  "And
sometimes..." she put her other hand on his cheek. 
"Sometimes you're very sweet."

     _Wow!_ Though Ranma.  Then he realized (to his horror)
that he was grinning like a maniac.  At the same time, he
found himself completely incapable of any speech.  Akane
seemed to sense this, and took it as a sign that it was her
turn to do the talking.

     "It's really hard for me.  I mean, boys.  No boys have
ever treated me like a real person before."  She looked down
again, and traced a line on his hand with one finger.  "I
don't know why they all liked me, but they never just talked
to me or asked me out.  They were always too scared, so they
just followed me around or tried to fight me."  She looked
up into his eyes.  "I always dreamed about being in love.  I
thought it would have to be someone very mature.  All the
guys my own age just acted so strangely."

     Her eyes began to water a little.  "I was lonely.  All
I ever wanted was somebody who'd enjoy being with me without
being weird about it.  Somebody who'd look at me and smile
once in a while like there was nothing in the world that
he'd rather see.  Somebody that would watch out for me and
help me when I needed it.  Someone that I could do the same
for.  That's always been my idea of perfect love, but I've
been so scared.  So scared that it wouldn't ever be like
that, I almost didn't see it.  I almost didn't realize that
it was you.  That everything I ever wanted, you've already
given me."

     "Akane, I-"

     "No.  Let me finish."  Akane's eyes closed, and she
gripped his hand a little tighter.  "It was so much easier
to fight.  To be angry and offended so that I wouldn't have
to admit that I'd treated you badly.  I couldn't see beyond
my own fear that it'd be like all the other times and all
the other boys if you ever decided you liked me.  It was so
much easier just to be that uncute tomboy.  To push you away
so that it'd never turn into another Kuno or Gosunkugi
thing."

     "You've tried so hard these last few months.  At the
Weaver Festival, and this morning, and..."  _Come on, Akane. 
You've come this far._  "I've been really unfair to you. 
That's how new all of this is to me.  I was scared and
unsure.  But I realize now that I'm not as afraid of being
honest with you as I am of losing you."

     As she paused to gather her thoughts, Ranma slowly
pulled his hand out of hers, and put his arm around her
shoulder.  She was openly weeping now, quietly and
copiously, the tracks of tears shining on her face.  _She's
never been so beautiful,_ he thought, wishing that he could
speak, to comfort or encourage her.  His chest tightened
from seeing her like this and from thinking of the words
that now hung between them in the air.  He pulled her to him
as he wondered which of them would be the first to say them
and if they'd be interrupted like they always seemed to be. 
Her arm went around his waist and she clung to him
desperately, thinking similar thoughts.

     For all her brave self talk and determination, Akane
now found herself tongue-tied.  She reached for his free
hand again, and he gave it to her silently.  They sat that
way for long moments.

     Finally, Ranma spoke.  "I aint so good at this stuff
either," he said.  "Whaddo I know about girls?  Nothin'. 
But I know that I...  I know that I care very deeply for
you.  I know that I want you to be happy.  I don't know if
*I* can make you happy, but I'd like to try... if you'll let
me.  But you have to trust me, Akane.  Can you do that?  Can
you trust me?"

     Akane looked up at him and smiled.  She didn't know how
many times she'd dreamed of a moment like this.  All she
could do was nod and hold him closer.  She saw the tender
look on his face and tried to memorize it, thinking briefly
that the memory could easily keep her warm for a thousand
winter's nights.  For now, though, it gave her the final
push she needed.  The words came to her, not like a clap of
thunder, but like a soft breeze.

     "I love you Ranma."

     "Oh Akane," he whispered, and pulled her head down into
his chest so that she wouldn't see if he started to cry.  "I
love you too."


***

     Floating a foot or two above the ground, Ranma made his
way to his room.  He wanted a few minutes alone think about
what had happened.  

     Fate had other ideas, and so did Nabiki.

     "So, how'd it go?" she asked casually from where she
sat on his floor.  Mousse, who lay next to her merely
groaned and twitched a little.

     "What happened to him?" Ranma asked, concerned.

     "Oh, he'll be fine in a little while," she said,
dismissing Ranma's worries with the wave of a hand.  "He
just got caught in the crossfire."  She pointed to a couple
of boxes sitting beside her.  "These came for you."

     Ranma stared mutely at the ramen and okonomiyaki
containers and wondered what Nabiki wasn't telling him.

******

Chapter 6:  The Opposition

******


     Something was up.  Ukyou was certain of it.  Ranma and
Akane had been much too friendly on the way to school.  They
had actually held hands!  They probably thought that no one
had noticed, but Ukyou had noticed.  She noticed everything.

     She'd tried all day to get close to him, to see if she
could find out what was going on, or at least take the
opportunity to show him how cute she was.  As usual, though,
he'd responded to her friendliness, but not to her romantic
advances.

     He could be so dense sometimes.

     Her attempts at school hadn't gone completely
unrewarded.  The look of rage on Akane's face when she'd
given him that hug had been priceless.  Of course, Akane had
started in on him as they'd begun to walk home.  That had
been good enough for the moment.  Surely Ranchan would
eventually see what a shrew that uncute fiance of his was.  

     Ukyou had gone straight home and made him something
special.  It was really an excuse to go by and lend him a
sympathetic ear.  She'd planned to ask a few leading
questions, get him to go off on his favorite topic (how
unfeminine Akane was) again, and then butter him up a
little.  Depending on his state of mind, she had anticipated
being able to talk him into a walk or a date even.

     Of course, when she'd gotten there, Nabiki had told her
that Ranma wasn't home.  She'd been about to do a little
snooping when that Chinese hussy had shown up.  The one
person Ukyou just couldn't tolerate was Shampoo.  It was
quite apparent that the feeling was mutual.  

     She felt a touch of regret for letting Shampoo taunt
her into fighting.  It wouldn't have happened if she hadn't
already been itching for a fight.  It had been a very long
day, and beating on Shampoo a little had been good for her
soul.

     Too bad about Mousse, though.  She'd always felt rather
sorry for that boy.  Still, if he was blind enough to have
feelings for that slippery, deceptive little cat girl, then
he deserved what he got.

     It wasn't that Ukyou was above a little deception every
now and then, but at least her motives were pure.  

     More or less.

     She sighed heavily.  Something had to be up.  As much
as she hated to admit it, she might need Shampoo's help.
Ranma was keeping something from her.  She just knew it. 
She was going to have to do something about it.

***

     "So far, so good," said Nabiki, trying harder than
usual to keep up her all business demeanor.  She was
thrilled from head to toe that things had gone well in the
dojo.  She hoped to get another chance to talk to Akane
soon.  If she didn't miss her guess, her little sister would
be glowing like a Christmas tree about now.  

     "It's your decision, of course, Ranma-kun but I think
that you should keep your plans a secret from Akane and the
others for now.  I sounded Daddy out a little this
afternoon.  When I mentioned 'Ranma', 'Akane', and 'wedding'
all in the same sentence, he got this hunted look in his
eyes and started whimpering.  I couldn't get another word
out of him for an hour.  He hasn't quite gotten over the
last one."

     "We can't do this alone," said Ranma, slightly
distressed.  "No priest or official is gonna marry a couple
of teenagers without an adult's say so."

     "Yes, but it doesn't have to be daddy.  There's your
parents too.  I don't know how helpful uncle would be, but
what about your mother?"

     Ranma frowned in concentration.  All this rational
thinking stuff was new to him.  "I'll talk to her about it,
but as much's I hate to admit it, I'm not sure what she'll
think about it.  I mean, she might not think that it's
strictly honorable sneakin' around like this.  I'm never
sure how Mom's gonna feel about somethin'.  You're right
about Dad, though.  We shouldn't tell him a thing.  His
intentions are good... usually, but he can't keep a secret."

     Nabiki's eyes glinted evily.  "Oh, I think that you
should tell him everything.  Starting with..."

***

     "What you want, spatula girl?"

     "The same thing you want.  To make sure that Ranma and
Akane get along just well enough to keep her from killing
him and no better.  Something is going on between those two,
and I need your help to stop it."

     "You too suspicious."

     "Am I now?  Did you see Ranma this morning?"

     "No... Shampoo busy with..."

     "Shampoo busy with what?"

     "Big order come in.  Shampoo work all morning.  When go
to deliver, is wrong address.  Spend much time looking for
customer.  Shampoo very angry.  No can meet Ranma before he
go to school.  Very strange."

     "Yeah, well *I* saw him.  He and Akane were *HOLDING
HANDS*!  Whatever's going on we have to stop *now*!"

     "Why Shampoo help?  Why Shampoo believe stupid spatula
girl?"

     "Are you *listening* to me, cat girl?  Ranma and Akane
are *up* to something!  If we don't do something *now*,
we're both going to loose him.  Is that what you want?"

     "Last time Shampoo and spatula girl try break up
husband and violent girl, husband very angry."

     "You'd rather have had him happily married to Akane
than a little annoyed with you?"

     "No... but not like make husband angry."

     "Fine.  I'll do it myself."

     "No.  You wait!"

     "I haven't got all day, sugar."

     "Shampoo help."

     "Well it's about time."

     "Something else strange happening."

     "What's that?"

     "Mousse acting very strange too.  This morning when
Shampoo come home from delivery, Mousse not all mushy mushy
about Shampoo.  Mousse very quiet.  Mousse know something
maybe."

     "Could be."

     "Then Mousse at dojo when Shampoo go to visit husband. 
Shampoo ask why, but spatula girl interfere."

     "Hey!"

     "Is true."

     "So, you think that Mousse is involved too?"

     "Is not first time Mousse help break up Shampoo's
plan."

     "Maybe.  So once Ran-chan and Akane are broken up once
and for all, it's every woman for herself.  Got it?"

     "Shampoo understand."

******

Chapter 7:  In Her Element

******

     Disappointed.  That was one word that aptly described
Akane's mood.  She and Ranma were walking home from school
and he hadn't said a word to her since they'd left last
period.  He hadn't even looked at her.  He just stared
straight ahead as he walked on the fence.  He was probably
thinking about that strange talk he'd had with his mother
that morning.  She'd hoped that after their words in the
dojo the day before that he'd hold her hand again, or at
least walk beside her instead of above her.  He'd gone all
vacant and distracted again.  _Why isn't he paying any
attention to me?_  The disappointment was joined by a hint
of irritation.

       She squelched the feeling, knowing that it would put
her dangerously close to anger.  She'd promised herself that
she *wouldn't* get angry.  Anger was an old and dear friend,
and not easy to give up, but yesterday in the dojo she had
realized (with Nabiki's help) that her anger was just a mask
that protected her from other feelings that she'd been
afraid to own.  That little bit of psychological sleight of
hand had kept her from happiness more than anything else in
her life. She wasn't going to get angry now and destroy the
progress that she and Ranma had made the day before just
because he seemed a little distant.

     She wasn't going to let things go on the way they were
either.

     "Ranma."

     No response.

     "Ranma?"

     "Hmm?" he still wasn't looking at her.

     "RANMA!"

     Surprised, he turned to look at her, missed a step,
emitted a loud "Whaa!", waved his arms wildly for a moment,
and ended up hanging sideways from the fence like a rock
lizard, his face pressed against the mesh.  He looked at her
sheepishly, righted himself and said "What is it Akane?"

     When she managed to stop laughing, she held her hand up
to him shyly, looked into his eyes and said "Please come
down from there."  Then she smiled.

     Ranma blinked.  That silly grin was trying to get out
again.  _Boy!_ he thought.  _I have a lot more sympathy for
Doctor Tofu now._  

     As much as he wanted to enjoy the moment, he knew that
he still had to be alert.  It was better if no one saw any
kind of display of affection between them for a while.  He
tried to resist, but couldn't stand the thought of making
that smile disappear.  He looked around knowing that if the
people he was worried about were watching he'd never see
them in a million years.  He jumped down and took her hand.  

     Yep.  It still felt pretty wonderful.

***

     "What do you mean you should move out?!?"

     Ranma frowned.  It was one thing to know in your heart
that something was right, but it was quite another to
explain your reasons to someone else.  

     Especially someone for whom logic was a way of life. 
He was pretty sure that Nabiki wouldn't accept 'I just have
this feeling...' and let it go at that.

     He sighed.  If it came to a debate he'd lose for sure. 
He toyed with the idea of folding his arms and just being
stuborn about it, but knew that without Nabiki's help, this
whole operation would be much harder if not impossible.  "I
think that we should live with my parents until we finish
high school.  I just feel like it's the right thing to do."

     "How can you say that?  It's always hard to change
schools.  Especially in the middle of the year.  Think of
what it'll do to your grades."

     "Whadda you mean?  How could gettin' away from Kuno and
all the other crazies at Furinkan be bad for our grades?"

     Nabiki folded her arms literally and dug in her heels
figuratively.  "You may have a point there.  I mean, why
would you want to be around all those crazies like Sayuri
and Yuka."

     He scowled.  Nabiki had just named her sister's only
close friends.  He *did* feel bad about taking her away from
them.  He wasn't going to give up yet, though.  "Not to
mention Gosunkugi, Miss Hinako, Principal Luau-head..."

     "Me."

     Ranma opened his mouth to continue, then stopped dead. 
Was it his imagination or had Nabiki's voice cracked a
little through her sarcasm.  He looked at her, but saw
nothing on her face other than her professional calm. 
Still...

     He looked down.  "All bridal duties and other
traditional crap aside Nabiki."  Looking back up, he tried
to put on his best meek face.  "I talked to my mother before
school and she agrees with me.  She made it a condition of
her cooperation even.  I could probably talk her around if I
have to but..."

     "But what, Ranma?"

     "I don't really want to.  I'll miss you and Kasumi and
even your dad, but... I really wanna... um... spend some
time with my... mom... for a while.  I... think I should."

     Nahiki was silent for a few moments, her face
impossible to read.  Then all at once her animated fast
talking mover and shaker persona returned.  

     "Alright, it's time that you had that talk with your
father.  I've written a list of all the things he needs to
know.  It's important that you stress these three points
with him..."

     _I'll never understand women,_ Ranma thought just
before focusing intently on Nabiki's latest plan.

***

     "Of course you can trust me, son.  Have I ever let you
down before?"

     The question startled Ranma.  He knew that he wouldn't
have to work very hard to think of some examples of when his
father had, in fact, let him down.  He had to fight years of
conditioning not to bring any of them up at the moment.  It
helped that Nabiki had sat him down and given him very
specific instructions about how this conversation needed to
go.  Not to mention the script she'd written and helped him
to memorize.  

     He tried to look confident and trusting as he met his
father's eyes.  "I knew I could count on you, father.  I
never doubted it for a moment."  _Aw man!  I'm a lousy
actor._  His talk with his mother earlier had been much
easier.  Of course, that might have been because he'd told
her the whole truth.  He really wasn't very good at hiding
things.  _He'll never buy this trusting son crap._

     The old man's eyes filled with tears.  Such a manly son
he had raised, just as he'd promised.  Such family loyalty,
such devotion to the future of the school.  It made a father
proud.  "Just leave it all to me."  His eyes misted over
slightly.  "You've made the right decision, my boy."

***

     "Do we have enough tempura flakes, sugar?  I'm going to
the store to pick up some shrimp anyway."

     "There plenty.  You no worry.  I make too too delicious
pork buns."

     "You do that.  Do you have the tranquilizer gun?"

     "Is here."

     "Are you sure those darts are big enough?  He's one big
fat animal?"

     "You go to shopping now, Spatula Girl.  Everything fine
here."

***

     "My measurements?  What for?"

     Nabiki unrolled the tape measure that she'd borrowed
from Kasumi.  She held up Akane's right arm and measured
it's length.  "It's a surprise my dear, dear sister.  Your
birthday's coming up, so don't ask too many questions."

     Akane blinked.  Nabiki usually just gave her money for
her birthday.  Either that or she gift wrapped one of the
outfits she had borrowed and returned it.  She'd never
actually *bought* clothes for her before.  She claimed that
she was too hard to shop for.  She smiled.  So Nabiki was
finally going to give her a real present.  That was nice of
her.  She held up both arms so that Nabiki could measure her
around the chest and waist.

     "That tickles," Akane said, giggling softly.  As her
sister worked, her mind reviewed the events of the past few
days.  "What do you suppose Ranma was talking to his mother
about last night?  They both looked so serious."

     "I really have no idea," said Nabiki blandly.  She
pressed the end of the tape into the small of her sister's
back while running the length up to the base of her neck. 
This earned another giggle and a squirm from Akane.

     "I just wonder what could be so important.  I asked him
about it, but he wouldn't tell me."

     If Akane's continued ignorance hadn't been important to
her own plans, Nabiki would have given her a few tips on how
to get information out of her true love.  As it was, she
continued to pretend indifference.  There'd be time for such
lessons after the wedding.  

     "You don't suppose they'll all be going back to their
own home, do you?" Akane asked, suddenly serious.

     Turning her around and measuring her for the head
piece, Nabiki tried to look stern.  The worried expression
on Akane's face, however, caused a small twinge of pain in
that part of her heart that she'd worked so hard to gain
control over.  As much as she tried to deny it, she hated to
see her family unhappy.  Her expression softened.  "I don't
know Akane."  She took her little sister's hand and squeezed
it gently.  "But would that be so bad?  Shouldn't Ranma's
mother have a turn to have her family with her for a while? 
You've had Ranma for a year now, and you'll have him for the
rest of your lives.  Can't Auntie Saotome have him for a
little while?"

     Ashamed, Akane looked down.  "Of course she can.  It's
just that..." the tell-tale signs of tears on the way
covered Akane's face.

     Nabiki looked around to make sure that no one was
watching.  Satisfied that they were alone, she pulled her
sister into a light hug.  "I know Akane.  I know."  She knew
that the possibility of losing her present closeness with
Ranma was really hurting Akane.  Possibly even more than the
prospect of losing her own closeness to Akane was hurting
her now.  Ranma had been right, though.  His place was with
his mother, at least for the next few years, and Akane's
place was with him.  _I'll miss you little sister._ she
thought, and wished that she could shed the tears in her
heart the way her sister was doing.

***


     It was a quiet morning approaching nine o'clock.  Next
to the koi pond, a fat, content panda played with an old
tire.  No one knew where the tire came from, or why it only
seemed to appear when the panda was relaxing on the porch,
but that was the least of the mysteries the pond and the
well kept yard it occupied had seen.

     A bright golden koi broke the surface of the water in a
graceful leap, seemed to hang still in the air for a long
moment, then fell back into the rippling pond.  The sun was
bright, the grass was green, and a figure crouched hidden in
the tree branches above the wall.

     Watching carefully for a signal, the figure waited. 
Across the yard, a strange whooshing sound was heard.

     The panda sat up straight, looked around, then fell
over in a drugged stupor.  For an instant before he lost
consciousness, he thought he saw someone coming towards him
with a kettle.

***

     Nabiki came straight home from school.  She had a lot
to do and would need plenty of time.  

     Ukyou hadn't attended classes.     

     Nabiki could only think of one reason why a good,
dedicated, healthy student like Ukyou would miss an entire
day of classes.  It meant that the stakes had just gone up
considerably.  

     Things were about to get a lot more complicated.  There
were several more factors that she'd need to consider.  She
needed more information.

     "Pop?" Ranma called somewhere downstairs.

     She hadn't seen Mr. Saotome when she'd come in.  He was
probably outside by the pond.  She heard Ranma go outside,
possibly having the same thought.

     They were expecting Mousse any moment now.  They needed
some idea what Shampoo was doing, and what kind of
interference they could expect from her great grandmother.

     As she reviewed all the players and their possible
roles, she heard Ranma running up the stairs.  He came into
her room breathless, a frightened look on his face, and held
out his hand.  She looked at the object he held.  It was a
large, empty tranquilizer dart.      

     Nabiki was shocked.  Could it be that she'd
underestimated her opponent?  It seemed that this project
would be even more of a challenge than she'd anticipated. 
Things would move very quickly now.

     Even as she thought about all the necessary (and
possibly costly) changes she'd have to make to her plans,
she found that she was smiling.  This was going to be even
more fun than she'd thought.

     "It's a dart."

     "I can see that it's a dart."  Ranma had been trying
for 'dry', but it came out much closer to 'hysterical'. 
"Someone has kidnapped my old man!  Someone who means
business."

     "Oh come on Ranma.  Don't panic.  I'm sure he's not in
any *real* danger.  Honestly.  Weird stuff like this happens
*all* the time around here anyway.  You'd think that you'd
be used to it by now."

******

Chapter 8:  You Can Count On Me

******


     The click-hiss-click of an old gas grill being prepped
were the only sounds to breach the imposing silence that
surrounded the quivering massive human form of Genma
Saotome. Gagged, blindfolded and tied to a chair, he awaited
his fate.  Even as he struggled against his bonds and tried
to control his fear, those sounds conjured up feelings of
security reminiscent of a tasty meal and a full belly. 
Despite his untenable position, and his history of stepping
on all the wrong toes and creating animosity with all the
wrong people, he couldn't think too poorly of his captors if
they could keep such an old grill (Early 1950's if he didn't
miss his guess.) in such fine working condition.  It sounded
as if it were running at near peak efficiency.

     And then the sounds changed.  The clicking stopped and
the hissing settled into a soft, even whisper.  He heard
something start to sizzle, as if gently and lovingly placed
on the grill, and then the smell reached his nostrils.  His
mouth began to water as the teasingly familiar and achingly
close aroma of expertly prepared okonomiyaki batter cooking
filled his senses.  The sizzle intensified.  Another
okonomiyaki, then another, then another were slowly poured
onto the grill.

     Ah how that scent reminded him of the old days, the
days when he and Ranma had wandered Japan training in the
art.  Those had been wonderful times.  Times when they had
lived off the land and off the kindness of strangers. 
Strangers like Mr. Kuonji and his little girl Ukyou... oh
yes.  Ukyou.  

     A vague sensation of guilt settled into his chest.  It
was accompanied by a sudden insight into the possible cause
of his current situation.  He'd thought that batter smelled
familiar.

     The poor girl was overreacting.  She was taking things
way too far.  The whole thing had been a joke.  Just another
con.  Nothing personal.  She really ought to just get over
it and stop kidnaping innocent pandas from their homes just
before important Kasumi-cooked meals.  It just wasn't nice. 
He'd have a talk with her about it, maybe promise her
another chance at Ranma or a date, and the whole thing would
be forgotten.  He hoped.  

     Then he remembered the fierce look on her face during
the great wedding disaster (A disaster to which she had
added considerably) and he trembled.  Knowing Ukyou's
resourcefulness, and her attachment to his son, it wasn't
likely that he'd get off easily this time.  It was, however,
very likely that she knew about or at least suspected what
was going on between Ranma and Akane.  It wasn't likely that
she would just sit quietly by and let it happen.  

     He was in trouble.

     Even as the rational and tactical part of his mind was
gathering information and drawing conclusions, a much more
primitive (and much more powerful in his case) part of his
mind was thinking something very different.  _Lunch,_ it
insisted.  _Smells good.  Hungry._

     He tried very hard to focus on the problem at hand. 
How was he going to convince Ukyou that nothing was going
on?  How was he going to get her to release him?  Were those
tempura shrimp that she was cooking?  _Focus!_ he told
himself sternly.  _A martial artist must rise above the
desires of the body.  He must... resist the ... temptations
of...  Do I smell spring rolls?_

     To his mild embarrassment, he realized that he was
drooling.  Someone else realized it too, and he heard a
soft, evil feminine laugh.  Funny, it didn't sound like
Ukyou.  He swallowed.

     And then Ukyou did speak.  "Now," she said, and the
blindfold was removed from Genma's eyes.  Before him in all
her arrogance and beauty stood Ukyou Kuonji, goddess of
spatulas and all things okonomiyaki.  Her face was regal and
haughty, but somehow pleasant, her look was almost feline as
she regarded him coolly.  He shivered.  This was not going
to be pleasant.  

     He couldn't meet her eyes for long.  He turned his
head, straining to see the figure behind him, the one who
had removed his blindfold.  He saw, then looked away quickly
again, even more intimidated than before.  Shampoo.  Shampoo
and Ukyou working together.  

     This was not good.

     This was most decidedly not good.

     Was that deluxe ramen with fish cakes she was holding
up?

     Ukyou spoke.  "You've caused me a lot of problems, old
man."

     Still gagged, Mr. Saotome tried to make his eyes wide
and innocent.  He was about as convincing at this technique
as the man he had learned it from.  

     "Oh, don't give me that look.  You're about as
convincing at it as the old freak.  Shampoo, remove the
gag."

     His mouth free, he spoke.

     "Ukyou, what are you doing.  You know you won't get
away with this."

     "Won't I?"  

     She took a step closer, then held out her hands. 
Shampoo was at her side in an instant handing her a bowl and
a pair of chopsticks.  Steam rose from the bowl into sweet
smelling white plumes, then disappeared tauntingly into the
air.  Ukyou looked down hungrily.  She dipped her right
index finger into it, then pulled it out quickly.  "Ouch,"
she said delicately.  "Too hot."  In a slow, almost sensual
movement, she held up her hand, and let one single drop run
down her finger and into her mouth.  "Mmm." she said softly,
almost a moan.  Genma watched fascinated as Ukyou reminded
him of just how feminine she could be when she wanted to. 
She began to lick her finger delicately, her eyes rolling up
in ecstacy.  "So good." she whispered.  She took the
chopsticks that Shampoo had handed her, and played with the
ramen in the bowl.  They lifted it gracefully into the air,
then let it slide slowly back down into the broth.  She
lifted another clump and it slid noodle by noodle back into
the bowl.  "We'll let it... cool down... just a little."

     She oozed forward and held the bowl beneath the bald
man's nose.  He began to sweat.  It had been almost two
hours since his mid morning snack.  His stomach growled
loudly.  

     Ukyou smiled, took a step back, looked around for
someplace to set the bowl, then stepped forward again. 
"I'll just put this here."  She set it gently on his lap,
stood up straight, then inhaled deeply, her eyes closing as
she experienced the heavenly aroma again.  The same aroma
that was making it harder and harder for Genma to focus with
every passing moment.  She turned and walked to the grill,
once again devoting her attention to her best loved dish. 
She expertly turned each okonomiyaki, then carefully
dribbled sauce over them.  

     The look of concentration on her face was no less
beautiful to a food connoisseur like Genma Saotome for the
fact that he had seen it many times before.  The look of a
chef who knew and loved her work.  Ukyou had been a
rambunctious, incorrigible child, and had grown into a
beautiful and somewhat playful woman, but that look on her
face, the one she wore when she cooked okonomiyaki had
always filled him with awe.  All playfulness in her
disappeared.  She was the master of all she saw.  She
understood the true importance of food.  No one cooked like
Ukyou.

     "Now," she said sternly, all business, not looking up
from her work.  "You are going to tell us everything that we
want to know.  You are going to tell us what's going on
between Ranma and Akane, you are going to tell us what kinds
of plans they are making, and you are going to tell us who
else is involved and to what extent."  She slid the food
swiftly onto plates with an expert flick of her wrist, then
another until each rested on a small table a few short feet
from her prisoner.  Shampoo set to work filling all the
empty spaces on the table with other foods.  Rolls, shrimp,
ramen and other delicacies appeared as if by magic as Genma
watched, mesmerized by the sights and smells.  Ukyou's voice
remained steady, rhythmically explaining his purpose here as
she continued her work, pouring more batter onto the grill,
filling the small back room of the restaurant with it's odor
once again.  "You are going to tell us the truth and you are
going to do so in great detail.  You are going to answer all
of our questions, or you are going to..." she looked up
finally, and her eyes crinkled in a smile that didn't show
on her lips.  She took a step towards him again, teasing and
swaying.  "...watch while we eat all this delicious food..."
she stepped up to the table, picked up one end as Shampoo
picked up the other, and began to move it towards him. 
"...by ourselves."

     Genma's sweating increased noticeably.  The two girls
came closer, and set the table in front of him.  

     "Now," Shampoo purred, speaking for the first time.  
"Why husband and Akane act so strange?"

     He clenched his teeth, the sights and smells doing
things to him.  Such torture was immoral, unethical, and
downright not nice.  He'd always thought of Ukyou as such a
sweet girl too.  "I'm not... telling you anything," he
managed to hiss.  "Do you really think I'd betray my son
just for some m-measely f... fff... food."

     Ukyou tsked.  She leaned over the table coyly and
picked up a pair of chopsticks a good two feet away.  She
pushed the food directly in front of her out of the way, and
sat daintily on the table.  With a slow, deliberate motion,
she stuck one stick into an okonomiyaki directly in front of
Mr. Saotome and then drew it towards her making a single cut
in the soft disk.  Another quickly followed and she grasped
the small wedge gently between the two sticks.  Pulling it
slowly towards her (letting it pass just below his flaring
nostrils) she opened her mouth, holding the food above it
for a long moment.  Genma watched, mesmerized.  He began to
tremble.  It moved slowly just a fraction of an inch towards
her reaching tongue.  Genma stared.

     Then Ukyou paused.  The food came away from her mouth,
and she looked him directly in the face.  "Are you sure you
don't want any?"  She held it towards him.  

     His face was beginning to show signs of strain.  He
clenched his teeth a little tighter and shook his head back
and forth violently.  He wouldn't tell.  He wouldn't. 

     That okonomiyaki smelled so good.  

     _No!_ he told himself sternly.  _I won't betray my son. 
I won't._

     Ukyou leaned in a little closer and frowned delicately. 
"Oh dear."  She shook her head a little.  "It's starting to
get cold.  We can't have that.  Can we Mr. Saotome?"  She
opened her mouth again and quickly put the morsel inside.  

     "Aaaa..." a sound of pure misery came from the
prisoner's throat.  He looked frantically at Ukyou who
chewed slowly, deliberately, her eyes closing, her head
tipping back in the sheer joy of good food prepared just
right.  

     He strained again against his bonds, nearly upsetting
the bowl of ramen that still sat in his lap.  Shampoo deftly
rescued it and held it just below his nose.  

     She shook her head.  "You almost spill spatula girl's
ramen." she said half sexy and half accusing.  "That very
bad manners.  You no eat until you learn manners."

     Ukyou swallowed and then sighed contentedly.  "Mmm."
she mmmed.  "Just perfect."  

     Nearing tears now, Genma whimpered softly.  This was
just too much for him.

     Shaking her head in mock sympathy, Ukyou looked Genma
in the face again.  "Really, Mr. Saotome.  You're making
this much too difficult.  All we want is a little
information.  Just some answers about what Ranma is up to. 
Is that really so much to ask?"  She began to slice off
another piece of okonomiyaki, her eyes shifting to her work. 
"We'll start slow.  Just tell me yes or no.  Yes or no. 
That's not so terrible, is it."  

     She finished the second cut and held up the new piece.
She shifted her weight and leaned her whole body towards
Genma again.  The chopsticks held his full attention as they
swayed back and forth, back and forth before him.  He began
to sway with it, trying his hardest to keep his mouth
tightly closed.

     Shampoo watched in awe as Ukyou worked her magic. 
Maybe there was something to this gentle persuasion stuff
after all.  She felt growing respect for the other girl as
her own mouth began to water.  Ukyou understood people and
how to get what she wanted from them.  

     Slowing the gentle sway gradually, Ukyou pressed her
attack.  "I'll give you this perfect piece of okonomiyaki if
you'll just give me one little yes or no.  That's fair,
isn't it Mr. Saotome.  It's so easy.  All I want to know is
whether or not Ranma has told you which of us he likes the
best.  Has he told you?  Yes or no.  One little yes or no,
and you'll be one bite closer to a full stomach."

     Sweat pouring down his face, Genma held his breath.  He
could see the okonomiyaki, could smell it, could almost
taste it.  His body shook.  His tongue swelled.  His flabby
usually unused discipline cried out under the strain.  He
felt his resolve crack like the breaking of a dam.

     "Yes!" he whimpered.  "Yes he told me.  He told me. 
Now please, please have mercy!"

     Ukyou smiled coldly.  She held the food steady in front
of him as his mouth surrounded it and swallowed in one swift
motion almost taking the chopsticks with it.  "That's right. 
That wasn't so bad, was it?"  

     She took a fried coconut shrimp and held it up.  "Now,"
she trilled.  "On to question two."


******

Chapter Nine:  Chubbyfishes

******


     "Ranma, Mousse, I'd like you to meet Pao Don Yu. He's a
master of the Martial Arts Marriage Ceremony." 

     Ranma blinked. "Uh, Pleased to meet you, Mr.Yu." He
bowed respectfully. Mousse followed suit. 

     The thin balding priest bowed back. 

     "So," Ranma continued, "Martial Arts Marriage
Ceremony?" 

     Yu nodded. "I am so trained." 

     Nabiki smiled. "You see, Ranma," She pulled a huge
easel from somewhere and placed a large diagram on it. She
took a telescoping pointer from her pocket, expanded it, and
pointed at a random spot on the diagram which seemed to be
some kind of traditional sketch of a series of historical
events. Ranma thought that a couple of the figures were
supposed to be brides, but mostly it seemed to be a picture
of a lot of fighting. "Long ago, many marriages were
political. They were used to seal alliances and to secure
heirs sometimes for families that weren't very popular." 

     She pointed to another random spot on the illustration.
"Sometimes the enemies of families who were preparing for a
wedding would do their best to break up the happy couple. If
they didn't succeed before the wedding, they would come to
the ceremony itself. Bridenapping was very popular as well
as attempting to get the groom drunk, bribing or abducting
the priests, and just generally brawling and trying to stop
the wedding from being successfully concluded." 

     "Over the years, an order of priests in a particularly
troublesome region had one too many of it's members kidnaped
in these kinds of disagreements, so they decided to do
something about it. They developed the secret techniques of
the Martial Arts Marriage Ceremony." 

     Yu bowed again, then took over the narrative. "The
priests of my order have practiced these techniques in
secret for many centuries. It is our tradition. However,
there has not been any demand for use of these techniques
for many many years. When Miss Tendo came to secure my
services, I was somewhat skeptical, but she assures me that
there may, indeed be some need for my particular skills." 

     Ranma blinked. Now he'd heard everything. "Uh, yeah,"
he admitted. "You could say that." 

     The priest bowed serenely. 

     Leaning close to him, Nabiki asked Ranma the question
that he was dreading. "So?" she pressed, "Did you talk to
Akane?" 

     "Well... Yes..." 

     "Did you tell her about the wedding?" 

     "...no." 

     She let out a frustrated breath. "Well, why not? You
can't do it without her cooperation." 

     "I know that! I was meaning to tell her. I went down
into the dojo for practice just like we talked about, and I
knew that it was the best time to tell her, but then... we
started sparring." 

     "So? You couldn't tell her then?" 

     "Well... Yeah, but..." 

     "But what, Ranma?" 

     "I meant to. I caught her fists and started to tell her
I wanted to talk, but then she...' 

     "She?" 

     "Well, she..." 

     "She what, Ranma?" 

     "She kissed me." 

     "What?!" 

     "On the lips. Just leaned right in and kissed me while
I was holding her fist." He wiped the brow of his very red
face, then looked at Mousse hoping for some help.
None came. "I was so surprised..." 

     "Why didn't you tell her then?" 

     "Well, I was gonna, but I couldn't talk. I tried
twice." 

     "You couldn't talk?" 

     Ranma shook his head. 

     "So what happened next?" 

     "I felt so stupid just standing there looking at her. I
had to do somethin'." 

     "So what did you do?" 

     Ranma's shade brightened a few candle powers. "I..." 

     "You?" 

     "I... I kissed her back." 

     "Then what?" 

     "Well, nothin'. I just kissed her." 

     "But you were in there for twenty minutes!" 

     "Yeah." He put his hand behind his neck and stared at
the floor. "So it was a long kiss." 

     She looked at him for a few moments with an emotionless
face. He looked at her, then at the wall, then at the
priest, then at the floor, then back at her. The expression
on his face was just too pathetic. Nabiki fought to keep a
straight face. She might have done it too if Mousse hadn't
snickered. They both began to laugh. 

     Ranma was beginning to resemble a boiled lobster. "Some
help you are!" he yelled. 

     Father Yu looked on wondering what he'd gotten himself
into.

***

     Duty. 

     The sum of Shampoo's life was contained in that one
word. 

     Duty to the tribe, duty to her family, duty to the code
of a warrior. 

     At the moment, however, she was focusing on duty to the
restaurant. While not the most important aspect of her life,
lately it seemed to be the most time consuming. 

     Especially since Mousse had become difficult. 

     She swept the floor in silence. The rhythmic whisper of
the broom was the perfect focus of a meditation. It helped
her to slow her manic thoughts. So much of her life
now hung in the balance. Too many of her loved ones could be
hurt if her plans went sour. The thought of disappointing so
many people left her sick to her stomach. 

     She hated Japan. The people were arrogant, the food was
bland, and the air was foul. When she thought of all the
time she had wasted in this barbarous place, it
made her want to cry. Each morning it got a little harder to
rise and face the new day. Each night, it took a little
longer to convince herself that she was doing the right
thing. Through it all, she kept reminding herself over and
over of the reasons she was here. 

     Duty. 

     She sighed. She'd been so idealistic once; cheerfully
setting out to capture the heart of the man who had won her
hand in marriage. She was the most powerful
warrior in the village, not to mention the most beautiful.
She'd been sure that Ranma would be pleased that she would
be his. 

     The fool. 

     Why couldn't he see what a wonderful wife she would
make? Why did he continue to defy the laws of the mighty
Amazon nation? 

     Why didn't he want her? 

     There it was. The blow to her pride. She'd been eager
to love Ranma then. The defeat was still embarrassing, but
he was strong and beautiful and best of all he was
her own age. Her optimistic nature had painted a rosy future
for the two of them. 

     But Ranma didn't want her. 

     Day by day she grew more weary. Day by day her optimism
waned and her doubt waxed. Day by day it got a little harder
to wear that cheerful and vacant expression that kept him
from ever really being angry with her; the one that kept
Great-grandmother from guessing how disloyal her thoughts
were becoming. 

     Even before her first talk with Ukyou, she'd been
tiring. 

     These days she knew that he would never love her. Not
really. 

     She didn't want a loveless marriage. 

     But still she couldn't give up. Going home in disgrace
was not an option. She'd tried that once. She would be
cursed with an unnatural second form for the rest of her
days for that breach of tradition. The next time the penalty
would be even harsher. 

     It was time to stop playing nice. 

     Ranma would never love her. 

     So be it. 

     He *would* marry her. He *would* return with her to the
village. He *would* become loyal to her and to the tribe.
She would do whatever she had to do to make it so. 

     It was no longer a question of love or of desire. Her
own lack of enthusiasm over such a reluctant and obviously
stupid husband didn't matter in the slightest. She could
marry Ranma and return to the village; to the land and the
people that she loved, or she could wander for the rest of
her days as a rootless exile. 

     That thought left her cold and afraid. Even
Great-grandmother would desert her if she gave up. There
would be no one to stay with her. 

     No one. 

     Except Mousse. 

     Mousse was an idiot. He was foolish, naive and
gullible. 

     But he would stay with her. 

     She hated to admit to herself how much comfort that
unbidden thought gave her. 

     In these dismal and repetitive days, there had been
more than one occasion when she'd caught herself thinking
about that. Thinking about what would really be lost if
she and Mousse left Tokyo together. If they went to another
town, one with bluer skies, and began to make a life for
themselves there. 

     That was as far as her mind had ever gotten before she
had scolded herself and reminded herself of her duty. 

     But some mornings just before her alarm went off, she'd
awoken with a smile on her face and the quickly fading
memory of a happy dream. One where she looked deeply into
beautiful loving eyes that never quite focused directly on
her, and ran her fingers through long, silky hair. 

     And she knew that in the heart of all her worry over
failing in her duty to the tribe another pain was hiding. 

     What was wrong with Mousse? 

     He'd been so cold to her lately. 

     The idiot. 

     Her melancholy gave way to annoyance as a key clicked
in the front door. Mousse himself walked in a moment later
and, not noticing her, began to walk towards the
back of the restaurant. Where had he been anyway? 

     "Mousse late." she said coldly. 

     He was a bit startled, but turned towards her calmly.
"Good evening, Shampoo." 

     "You no help with delivery or cleanup. Why not?" 

     "I was busy." 

     "Busy where?" 

     "Practicing," he lied. "I'm going to go take a bath
now." 

     "You no help yesterday either." 

     He shrugged. Nabiki was right. He needed to get some
emotional distance from her if their plan was going to be
successful. It wasn't easy, but he had to control himself.
"I've been practicing a lot lately. There are too many
strong martial artists here for me to spend all my time
sweeping floors and delivering soup." 

     "So instead, Shampoo do it all?" 

     "That's your choice, Shampoo." 

     Her face brightened. He'd *never* talked to her like
this before. "Is NOT! Is duty to restaurant!" 

     He looked towards her (almost in the right direction
this time) and shrugged. "Duty to a building of wood and
concrete?" His hands went out in a gesture taking in
their bleak surroundings. "Duty to the citizens of Nerima
who must have hot ramen? I've got better things to do. I'll
work the hours we agreed on for my room and board, but only
because that's part of my duty to myself. My duty to my own
pride. That's it. If you want more hours, maybe you should
think about wages.  Otherwise, hire someone else." 

     Shampoo's frown turned into a genuine scowl. How dare
he? This was about more than just unfair treatment as a
worker. He hadn't sworn undying love or tried to hug her for
days now. He was up to something. She opened her mouth to
begin shouting at him; to demand the information she wanted,
but before she could do so, she stopped. A recent memory
played at the edges of her consciousness. Something about
food, and... 

     Getting information. 

     Ukyou had gotten the information she'd wanted from Mr.
Saotome without ever raising her voice. 

     Of course, food wouldn't work with Mousse, but... 

     She composed herself, and reminded herself that she
should be willing to do anything for duty. No matter how
distasteful. "Mousse, I've really missed you." she said
coyly, switching to Chinese. "I'm used to seeing you all the
time." She walked up to him, and put a hand on his arm.
"It's lonely here all day with only great-grandmother to
talk to. Please tell me where you've been." 

     And Mousse began to sweat.

******

Chapter Ten:  Penultimate Beginning

******
     "But I *can't*!" Ranma protested.  "I tried and tried
and I just can't get the words out! *You* talk to Akane!"

     Trying her hardest not to sound *too* condescending,
Nabiki attempted to calm him.  "Relax, Ranma.  If you need
me to, I'll stay close, but I think you can do it on your
own.  I think it would be better if you did."

     He looked down at the table.  It always got this way
when he needed to talk seriously with her.  With anyone for
that matter.  He always said the wrong thing, or got
flustered and didn't say anything at all.  And with Akane,
it was worst of all.  It'd been easier since Nabiki's
advice, but even though he knew how to approach these things
now, that wasn't the same as being good at it any more than
just having a good sense for battle and strategy was the
same as being a good fighter.  He hadn't trained enough.  He
didn't have the conditioning or the reflexes for this.

     He usually just ended up hurting her.

     The last thing he wanted to do was hurt her.

     How did you say it, though?  How did you tell someone
that you're so afraid of losing them that you desperately
want to get married right away?  How did you tell them you'd
die without them?  And how did you make it through the night
if they told you no?

     He closed his eyes and fought the pain.  He admitted to
himself that the whole idea really was pretty outrageous. 
Married before their third year of high school?  It was
ludicrous.  She'd be crazy if she *did* go along with it. 
What had made it seem like such a good idea?

     What if she said no?

     The truth was that he was terrified.  Not because he
was afraid he'd make her angry, but because he was afraid
her answer wouldn't be the one he wanted.

     "We're running out of time, Ranma."

     "I know."

     What if she said no?

***

     "What am I going to do with you?" Ukyou asked with no
small amount of good humor. "Can't let you go spill the
beans to Ranchan now, can I?" 

     Genma Saotome looked up at her pitifully, but whether
it was a guilty conscience or an overly full stomach that
kept him from speaking, the world would never know. 

     Wishing (not for the first time) that she was the kind
of girl who could take advantage of this situation and get
some *real* revenge, Ukyou tightened the ropes that she
hoped would keep him from getting away during the night.
Tied to a chair wasn't the most comfortable way to spend an
evening, but she didn't feel terribly guilty about the way
they'd treated him so far, and doubted that scruples over
his present plight would disturb her own sleep in the
slightest either. 

     "Sleep tight." she said pleasantly before switching off
the storage room light and leaving him alone in the
darkness. 

     The captive's eyes narrowed dramatically as he looked
at the door she'd retreated through. _Now's my chance._ he
thought. He strained at the feeble bonds that held him. Why,
such weak restraints would hardly keep *him* from escaping.
He'd snap right through them with no effort at all. 

     He strained at them a little more. Um, make that very
little effort. 

     More straining. Not much effort? 

     He panted heavily. 

     Such puny ties wouldn't keep him from his family for
long. They were strong, but against his mighty efforts, they
would be useless. 

     Just as soon as he caught his breath. 

***

     Ranma knocked almost silently.  "Uh, guess she's
asleep." he said as he began to retreat from Akane's door. 
"Oh well.  You'll have to tell her in the morning."

     "Not so fast, Romeo."  Nabiki collared him and pulled
him back around to face the little wooden duck with his
fianc‚'s name on it.  She whispered urgently.  "How do you
think she'll feel tomorrow if you don't have the guts to
face her tonight?  I've gone through a lot of trouble to
pull this off, but if you aren't the one to tell her that
this time it's all your idea, then we might as well call the
whole thing off right now, because she *won't* go for it.  I
promise."

     "But I don't wanna... disturb her or..."

     Nabiki stared at him, an annoyed, but long suffering
look on her face.  "Suit yourself," she said, then did her
best 'Ranma knocking frantically' impression on her sister's
door.  "Bye."

     Ranma turned and watched her as she quickly retreated
down the stairs.  He would definitely have to remember that
she could move that fast.  It was news to him.  Hearing
motion in Akane's room, he turned to face it.  What Nabiki
said made sense.  He had to do this right no matter how long
it took and no matter how many embarrassing ways his
feelings made him look foolish.  He wouldn't be intimidated. 
He wouldn't back down.  He'd say what he came to say without
stalling or stuttering.

     The door opened.

     "Um, Akane, hi!  Um, sorry to...  Um, listen, I need
to...  Um, that is, if it's no trouble...  Um, if this is a
bad time, I could..."  He fell silent, unable to gather his
thoughts with her so close.  

     "Come in, Ranma," she said calmly, though her face
showed a delicate blush.  She walked back into her room
leaving the door open.  He swallowed once, then stepped
through it quickly and closed it behind him. 

***

     It was just a matter of focus.  His will was strong,
and his heart was pure, so...

     Shampoo's finger traced a butterfly-light path across
his chest.

     Uh-oh.

     His leg began to twitch as he tried to muster enough
muscle control to push her away.  "What do you wwwww-want,
Shampoo?" he demanded with all the fire of a wet match.  He
backed up as far as he could as she pressed her attack.

     "I just want to know what it is that's keeping you so
busy lately," she said.  Was it his imagination, or was she
purring?  "I've been thinking about you a lot.  Are you
well?  Have you been getting enough to eat?"

     He quivered from head to toe.  Every part of his brain
was screaming foul.  She was trying to deceive him.  She
would do anything to find out what Ranma's plans were, and
when she knew, she'd toss him aside again just like always. 
She *wasn't* worried about him.  She *wasn't*!  He *knew*
this with every shred of logic he could muster.

     But he was begining to wonder if it would be enough to
save him.

     "Where have you been?" she asked sweetly.

     Mousse began to suspect that his brain was melting.  He
wanted to tell her everything.  That would be best, wouldn't
it?  She was so wonderful and pure and beautiful.  How could
he even think about keeping a secret from her.  He would
tell her whatever she wanted to know.  He opened his mouth
to answer her.

     A loud rattling sound filled the room.  It distracted
Mousse from what he'd been trying to say.  Where was it
coming from?  

     The moment he realized that it was his own trembling
that was loudly shaking the table his back was pressed up
against was the moment that he truly realized what she was
doing.  Not expecting any strong physical resistance, her
guard lapsed enough for him to push her away forcefully.

     "Is this what you've become?" he shouted in disgust. 
"The kind of woman who would use a man's feelings for her to
get what she wants?  Is this how a mighty Amazon warrior
behaves?  Using the people who care about her?  Abusing
their love and devotion?  I hope you're proud of yourself!"

     He suspected that he was able to escape only because
she was too stunned to follow him.  He stormed out into the
street in search of someplace to spend the night. 

***

     "Um, Akane?"

     "Hmm?"

     "Could you not... stand... so close?"

     Puzzled, and more than a little annoyed, Akane pulled
her body away from Ranma's and looked up into his tense
face.  "Didn't you come to kiss me goodnight?" she asked,
her hands still resting just above his hips.

     "No."

     Her arms fell to her sides and she took a step away
from him.  "I see," she said dangerously.

     Warnings were sounding in his brain.  "Uh, I didn't... 
I mean...  Yes!"

     He reached for her, but she wasn't buying it.  "What do
you *want*, Ranma?"

     One hand behind his rapidly coloring neck, he leaned
away from her.  He tried to smile, but it tasted false to
him.  No doubt it didn't look any better.  And he thought
they'd made so much progress the last few days.

     Luckily, she seemed to be thinking the same thing. Her
irritated expression evaporated with one final long-
suffering sigh, and she sat down on her bed.  "Out with it,"
she said, motioning him to the chair by her desk.

     Ranma sat and tried to gather his thoughts.  Again. 
This talking thing was *hard work*.  At least the kind that
didn't get him pounded on.  "We...  We really need to...
talk."

     Akane frowned.  "We've *been* talking, Ranma.  What
more is there to talk about?"

     Returning her frown, he answered slowly.  "Lots of
things!  Yer family... school... the weather... getting
married..." he looked down at the floor at her feet.  It was
another one of *those* moments, and having found the courage
to say the "M" word, he didn't want to lose his focus by
doing anything stupid like looking at her or anything.  He
wasn't exactly sure how to continue the line of
conversation, so he hoped she'd go along.  For the next few
moments she was quiet.  Quiet as death.  He closed his eyes
still unwilling to look at her.

     He sensed movement, but remained frozen in his seat. 
Did the terror he felt show on his face?  Would she, like
some nocturnal predator sense his fear and use it against
him?  Would she mock him?  Would she be angry?  Had he been
wrong when he'd guessed that she wouldn't object?  

     And then she touched him.

     Her hand on his cheek was soft and warm.  He could feel
her strength, though, too as she silently insisted that he
look up at her face.  He fought for an instant, but her
brutish muscle was too much for him.  Or maybe it was his
feelings.  He looked.

     It wasn't as bad as he'd thought.  She wasn't exactly
smiling, but...

     Slowly, she brushed her cheek against his, then gently
pushed herself into his lap.  As she settled there, he
realized that he wouldn't be able to push her away again,
but also knew that it would be much harder to say what he
needed to with her there.  Her arms went around him, and he
responded in kind.

     Neither of them spoke for several moments.  Ranma
unable, and Akane unwilling to break the spell of closeness
that was still so new and powerful.  As time passed, though,
he grew more and more worried.  Nabiki had been right when
she'd said that he had to tell her tonight.  How he'd do it,
though, he had no idea.  He knew from recent experience that
all the planning in the world could never really prepare him
for a discussion with Akane, and the panic he'd felt earlier
was returning little by little.  He knew it wouldn't be long
before even someone as... selectively oblivious as Akane
wouldn't be able to ignore the tension that was increasing
all through his body.  

     It happened sooner than he'd expected.  She totally
failed to hide her frustration as she leaned back and looked
at him.  "Don't worry about it!" she said.  "If it makes you
that nervous, just don't think about it!  Let's just work on
love now, and when you're ready, we can talk about..."

     His body stiffened completely, which surprised her into
stopping.  She looked into his eyes puzzled by the
expression there.  Utterly failing to remember that she'd
promised herself not to, Akane jumped to a conclusion.  "You
*do* want to marry me, *don't* you?"

     More afraid than ever, Ranma nodded frantically.  Akane
relaxed a little.  "Then what's wrong?"

     Couldn't ask for a better opening than that.  He
struggled for the perfect way to say it.  The best he could
come up with was "So... let's get married."

***

     It was just a matter of focus.  His will was strong,
and his heart was pure, so...

     Genma strained once more against the ropes that bound
him in place.  Why had he been unable to break them.  Surely
a martial artist of his stature should have been able to
defeat a measly piece of twine easily.  Surely in moments he
would break through and secure his freedom and the safety of
his family.

     He strained.

     It didn't matter how this puny rope struggled.  In the
end, he would be victorious.  He would break free, and rush
to the aid of his wife and son in their hour of need.

     Any moment now.

     He rested for a moment.  Something was not right. 
Hadn't he heard somewhere about a mystical rope that seemed
harmless, but that, in fact, would hold its victim helpless
and immobile for as long as the possessor wished?  Yes, he
was sure he'd heard such a tale.  Of course, that had been
back in the days before he'd had a proper respect for magic. 
And hadn't it been that looney old hermit that had run the
shrine in the hills by his village that had told him about
it.  He'd always thought the old man was off his rocker. 
His tales had never made sense, so Genma had never taken
much interest in them.

     Oh, how he wished he had listened.  That mystical rope
*had* to be what now held him so firmly.  What other
explanation could there be?

     To think that an ordinary girl like Ukyou would be
versed enough in the ways of black magic to have used such
an artifact.  And she'd always seemed like such a *nice*
girl too.

     It didn't matter.  Even a well-known-mystical rope
whose name he couldn't remember would keep him from his
family for long.  He would escape and return to protect
them.  This he swore.

     Just as soon as he caught his breath.
     

***

     As Ranma looked at Akane's unreadable face, he was
painfully reminded of their talk in the dojo days earlier. 
She was silent now as she had been then.  He began to feel a
bit of dread.  Was this the moment when all his fears would
be realized?  He knew that she loved him, but did she love
him enough?  The desperate need to plead his case before she
could turn him down rose in him.  He grabbed her hands and
held them firmly in front of him.

     "Listen, Akane," he began.  "It's not like we can
just... *date* like *normal* people.  Everybody's gonna keep
tryin' to separate us for as long as they think they've got
a chance to."

     Her eyes widened a little, as if, until then, she
hadn't believed that he was serious.  He pushed on, still
afraid to give her the chance to refuse.

     "Look.  It's not like... I could... hide the way I feel
about you.  I can't.  Not... not anymore.  It's gonna make
people angry.  They're not gonna...  They're gonna..."  He
blew out a frustrated breath.  "Don't you think we
should..."

     He cursed mentally.  That was absolutely, positively
*all* he could say.  At least until she gave him some kind
of sign.  He looked at her helplessly.  Would she know how
much this meant to him?  Would she see into his heart?

     Silence stretched out between them once more.  He was
sick of silence.  He *hated* silence.  Silence was-

     She lunged forward suddenly and put her arms around him
in a bone cracking embrace.  "You mean it?" she whispered
hoarsely. 

     He swallowed.  This was good, right?  Things were going
well, weren't they?

     Then how come he was suddenly even more nervous than
before?

     He put one hand up, his fingers tangling gently in her
hair, and pulled her head down to rest on his shoulder.  "I
mean it," he said, more calmly than he felt.  "Is it... okay
with you?"

     She sniffled a little.  "Well..."  Her embrace suddenly
became even tighter.  "I think... It's okay with me."

     Relief filled Ranma.  He leaned close and kissed her on
the cheek just as she began to shake with gentle sobs.  He
smiled even as he began to suspect that his life had just
gotten a lot more complicated.